The Bible and Polygamy
April 30, 2008 by Veronica Mitchell
Given its prominence in the news and the religious background to the FLDS marriage practices, I thought it might be worthwhile to talk about polygamy in the context of the Bible. There is a tendency in our culture to treat the Bible as a collection of aphorisms, a kind of compendium of easy to use sayings and holy examples. If something is “in the Bible,” then it must be a good thing, right?
Of course, the reality is that the Bible is a kind of anthology of different literary genres written by many different authors across different centuries. And when we interpret it according to genre and cultural context, its portrayal of polygamy is not exactly positive.
Polygamy is actually a broad category, referring to any kind of marriage that involves more than two people. In the Bible, polygamy appears strictly as polygyny, the practice of one man having multiple wives at the same time. In the ancient cultures of the Bible, polygyny was usually the privilege of the rich. A wealthy man might be able to afford more than one wife, but it was never common practice.
The Bible never explicitly condemns polygamy except in the case of a man marrying two sisters (Lev 18:18 - something the FLDS practices anyway), but scripture nevertheless speaks negatively about polygamy, once literary form is accounted for. Here, in bullet points, are some handy responses for you the next time someone tells you that polygamy is “in the Bible”:
- Every time the Bible describes a family where the husband has more than one wife, the marriage is unhappy. The wives are rivals, not friends. The husbands are harangued, burdened or hated. In terms of the narrative, the misery of the marriage always seems to be the result of the polygamy. Examples: Abraham, Jacob, Elkanah, David, Solomon.
- The examplar marriages in the Bible are always portrayed as monogamous. Examples: Ruth and Boaz, Mary and Joseph.
- The creation of the first marriage in earth’s first paradise (Adam and Eve) suggests a one man-one woman paradigm for marriage.
- The extolling of romantic love in Song of Songs includes the expectation of exclusivity. The bride’s jealousy of the Beloved is not condemned as selfishness; it is instead a part of the celebration of love. She has a right to his exclusive affection. “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. (Song of Songs 8:6; consider also 6:3, 7:10) A seal, in ancient near eastern terms, is a mark of ownership, the unique mark of a single individual. When the bride demands that she be set as a seal on his heart, it means she alone owns his heart.
- In the New Testament, the standards for church leadership include the unavoidable prescription that men be “the husband of one wife.” (1 Timothy 3:2)
Pretty much everything in Leviticus makes me want to poke my eyes out with a stick.
Very good. Polygamy is in many places still the privilege of the rich. Just look at the Saudi royal family for a great object lesson in polygamy and its result. Eeeyh.
One of my dearest girlfriends spent a large part of her childhood growing up as part of a royal family in Nigeria. The polygamy practiced by her family has been, she tells me, the root of some terrible and frightening violence. If you father 35 children, you can’t help but have favorites. And the kids who aren’t favorites have this tendency to get get bitter. (Joseph, anyone?) She tells me that growing up reading the Old Testament, it didn’t occur to her to think of it as dusty old history– because of her family, the OT was quite powerful and immediate.
Another thing - and not a Biblical thing, just a sensible one - is that polygamy tends to end up affecting men badly. By making high quality men available to more women, the mid-to-low quality guys end up having no wives at all.
I am completely in favor of polygamy, and it would be nice if you would let me share a few thoughts on what you have to say here on your blog….
As far as I see it, the bible does not “speak negatively” about polygamy, but praises it, as Scripture makes no differentiation between monogamy and polygamy. So every time it speaks about marriage, it speaks about monogamous and polygamous commitments.
Among your examples for unhappy marriages is the one couple we are explicitly pointed to as role models - Abraham and Sarah (Rom 4:16-25, 1 Pe 3:1-7). By implication, that would mean that God wants our marriages to be unhappy, which stands in stark contrast to what the bible says about marriage elsewhere….
Besides, the “misery” in David’s or Solomon’s marriages was not because of polygamy, but because of adultery and murder in David’s case, and idolatry in Solomon’s case. I also have not found any misery in Gideon’s marriage, which was also polygamous.
Speaking of the Song of Solomon as a romantic ideal, it also upholds being a fountain sealed, a garden enclosed
I do as a matter of fact believe that separation is indeed essential, and have written about it a while ago (http://joshuahshouse.com/being-a-garden-enclosed-for-your-husband.html), but I am fully aware of the fact that most modern women don’t like the idea or are scared of it.
As for Adam and Eve, the ideal in the Garden was also to be naked, childless, and eat only fruits, maybe also vegetables. Do you uphold those standards too as the ideal ? I guess one should be consistent.
Lastly, Paul indeed says that elders and deacons should be the husband of one wife, and they should also have proven that they can raise their family well. A man has proven that when his children, all of his children, have already reached the age of accountability, so the limitation is a practical one, not a moral one, it seems. It also indicates that polygamy was a rather normal thing.
Anyway, as I hold to sola Scriptura, tota Scriptura, I try not to read the bible like I would a work of fiction, but as God’s inerrant word, consistent in itself, self explanatory, and unchanging. What I find in the bible about polygamy is not at all negative, but instead, I see polygamy portrayed as a good way to fulfill the dominion ordinance as stated in Gen 1:28
Grace and Peace,
Talitha
I think historically it was a matter of necessity. The average life span was 25 years. Infant and child mortality was fairly high. Be fruitful and multiply was practical; as well as, having numerous wives. I think many times women were widowed or possibly orphaned, and men took them into their home as protection.
I concur with you that multiple wives seemed to cause more problems than joy. One only has to read the story of Hannah. Her words of sadness under score the ramifications of a plural marriage.
Sigh. Biblical scholars have always understood that the Bible permitting something is not the same as endorsing it. (think of divorce) Furthermore, as I tell my 3-4th grade Sunday School students, “the Bible interprets the Bible”. By that, I mean it is easy to take one verse and make it say something that the rest of the Bible doesn’t agree with. There has to be context. The New Testament applies some very sacrifical language to marriage that would be very difficult to apply to polygamy. It’s hard to give yourself up for your wife as Christ does the church (Eph. 5:25), when you have many (sinful, of course) wives. After all, there is only ONE church Christ is sacrificing for.
Excellent post — very insightful.
Geez wiz. I agree completely, Sis, the bible explains itself
If one verse seems to contradict the rest of Scripture, it is my understanding that is faulty because God does not contradict Himself, or as Paul says, He is not a god of of confusion (1Co 14:33).
So, if you pick up the bible and read it, cover to cover, you will not come away with the idea that having many wives is sinful, just like you will not come away with the idea that God’s Law is done away with.
Sacrificial language has to conform to the “rest” of Scripture, too, and I do not see where it is difficult to give yourself up to more than one wife… Incidentally: Which church is the ONE church, in your opinion ?
Oh, and as for divorce: The bible permits it if the wife breaks the marriage covenant, Jesus repeats that. Of course the bible does not endorse divorce, but if you break covenant, with your husband or God, you will bear the consequences.
Grace and Peace,
Talitha
Polygomy did not start with God; it started with man. All of our sins are a result of moving away from what God intended. Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah and the world…
Polygamy, from what I can see, began with Abram and Sarai and their distrust in God’s promise to make Abram a great nation with as many offspring as there were dust in the land. “Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian maidservant Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. ” (Gen 16:1-3)
So began the process of having more than one wife for the sake of having a child to carry on a line. It was not what God intended (as we know that Sarah did go on to have Isaac, proving once again that with God, nothing is impossible - especially the impossible). As you said earlier, there were no happy situations in the case of multiple wives because every woman wants to know that they’re the queen of her man’s heart. That “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other” scripture applies to more than just God and money…
God only set forth rules and regulations because the people were stubborn and hard-hearted, not to mention they needed/craved parameters, even where God did not want to give them. Sometimes God gives the people what they ask for in order to teach them a lesson.
Take the case when the Israelites demanded a king. God set judges in place first, but the people would not be satisfied. So he gave them a king. And then they complained that they didn’t like the king. So He gave them another. And so on and so on… I’d say that they were just ridiculous, but really, we haven’t changed all that much. We’re still, for the most part, not satisfied with what we have and we’re often trying to “overrule” God.
There comes a point in our lives when we must recognize that God’s not about rules and regulations. It’s about learning to accept his love and forgiveness, living according to his perfect ways to the best of our abilities and extending that same love and grace to others. If we make God and his will our centers, the rest are all details. Our hearts will want to seek out the will of God in all things, including marriage (which should be one man and one woman from everything I’ve read in scripture.)
Hmm. I always though the model for marriage was Jesus and the church (his bride), not Abraham and Sarah.
Jesus doesn’t have two brides.
Total oversimplification, but it’s the first thought that popped in my mind.
Gretchen,
For us as women Sarah is held up as the role model in 1 Peter, and Abraham would be a role model for men as you could read in Romans 4. If you look to Jesus and the church, His bride, please also consider the parable of the ten virgins in Mat 25, where Jesus portrays himself, in an image, as the bridegroom of potentially 10, in the end only 5 young ladies.
Please remember too though that marriage in not only spiritual, neither in Scripture nor in your or my life, but also very practical, and God’s Law provides us with all we need to live good marriages down here. Yes, my husband is supposed to present me unblemished like Jesus presents the church unblemished… unblemished in a very practical way though. Looking to Jesus and the church only means to miss all the practical aspects of the biblical concept of marriage.
Again: The bible does not differentiate between monogamy and polygamy when it speaks about marriage. Whatever it says about marriage is said about plural marriage as well as monogamous marriage.
Shalee,
The earliest case of polygamy, chronologically speaking, is Lamech of Cain’s line (Gen 4:19).
God intended plural marriage for David (see 2 Sam 12:8), and commanded it in cases (Gen 38:6-10, that would be “Levirate Marriage”, you find it also in Deu 15:5-10), so no, it wasn’t men who started it.
You say:
“every woman wants to know that they’re the queen of her man’s heart. That “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other” scripture applies to more than just God and money…” -
I don’t get it… No man can serve two women ? Or are you talking about polyandry, no woman can serve two men ? In any case it’s interesting logic, as a wife is supposed to be submissive to her husband in the one case, not the other way round, and as no woman is supposed to have more than one husband in the other.
The assumption that every woman wants to be the queen of her husband’s heart is a wholly romantic one and not at all biblical. I don’t think Abigail, for example, had that in mind when she went to marry David in 1 Sam 25:42
Yes indeed, God set the rules as the nature of man is sinful and we all come short. But God tells us what to do so that it might be well with us (Deu 12:28), and Jesus confirms it:
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” (Joh 14:15) So indeed God IS all about rules and regulations - and I am thankful for it with the psalmist:
“Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day.” (Psa 119:97)
Grace and Peace,
Talitha
Google Alerts strikes again?
This is nothing on the Scientology post, though.
I read your blog every day and this is the first time I’ve ever left a comment, it’s usually not my nature. I felt the need though today to tell you how much I get out of it. I love reading about your tiny girls but most of all I love the essays that you write on your (my) faith. I leave here feeling calm and many times with a lesson learned.
I’ve never felt you were controversial and it saddens me that twice in the last month there have been people trolling the internet ready to pounce on any opportunity to contradict their fringe beliefs and have landed here. I just wish they would take the time to understand the rhythm of your writing and this blog before jumping in with both feet and effecting the balance. I think one might find a more willing audience to debate the benefits of polygmy on a public bulletin board where members are there for that reason.
Keep up the good work Veronica, I really appreciate your writting.
Good insights, Veronica. As a polygesperantist, I disagree, but I appreciate the work you put into laying that out for us from a Biblical view.
HAHA!
I always appreciate your posts about Biblical TRUTH. You contemplate… I’ll read while eating crackers.
I meant to say “any opportunity where (they believe) biblical interpretations of God’s word condradicts their fringe beliefs”… Sorry.
Ok ok, I guess I wasted my time here, to a degree… I said what I had to say in order to contend for the faith, though, and I appreciated the opportunity to counter some lame arguments… and thanks for all the fish… errr, visitors to our site
Grace and Peace,
Talitha
Except is wasn’t Scientology, it was 3speranto. Durr. See, that’s why in general I try to refrain from attempting clever comments.
Very well put, Veronica. I appreciate the bullet points–great examples to show what the Bible really has to say about monogamy/polygamy.
It’s interesting how what we want to believe colors how we read scripture. I think Talitha Nun brings in some good points that are being totally ignored. Here are few thoughts I had while I read the post and comments:
Point 1
As I read it, Abraham and Sarah overall have a good relationship. I googled the subject, by the way, and came up with an interesting treatise on the Abraham/Sarah/Hagar triangle from an Islamic viewpoint. Intriguing. Their scripture apparently presents it quite differently as might be expected, but perhaps more fairly to Sarah which I thought was very interesting.
In Jacob’s case, the premise of how he came by the first wife was less than stellar. The only fair thing would be to allow him to have the wife he had understood he was getting. (Legal and acceptable in their society too.) Perhaps a valuable lesson we can all agree upon is the absolute necessity of dealing honestly with our fellowman?
For David and Solomon, both were given multiple wives by the Lord *but* they also took wives for themselves. I think the point we can all use in our lives from David and Solomon is that we need to follow the Lord. Perhaps the polygamous marriages and resulting children would have been much better had they strictly taken only those wives the Lord gave them. I believe that marriage is challenge enough for two, but polygamy would have to have the Lord’s attendant blessings in order to be successful.
The book Song of Songs does not show up by that name in my Bible. However, your reference does coincide with the KJV Song of Solomon. As to that, I would say, “Consider your source.” By that time, Solomon was “loose” even by today’s standards, which are pretty low. Many scholars consider this book to have been included in the Bible only because it was from a king of Israel and of ancient date.
Point 5
So according to your statement, Abraham could not have been a church leader or therefore a prophet, nor could Jacob. Do you really mean that? Somehow, I don’t think you do.
Ooh. Well written and researched post. And what a good discussion. Based upon this I think you would make an awesome sister-wife.