Dear “Pregnant and Miserable”
July 24, 2007 by Veronica Mitchell
One of the searches that has brought several people here are some variants of the phrase “pregnant and miserable.”
Oh, honey. I hear you.
I have three kids, and I love them dearly, so dearly that I would like to have a fourth, but I hated pregnancy every single time, possibly for every single moment.
I hate restricting what I can eat. I hate being unable to eat because of nausea. I hate being desperate to eat because I’ve gone half-an-hour without a snack.
I hate the fat and the stretch marks and the mood swings and the stares and the strangers acting weird towards you and the isolation and the people who don’t understand and the people who try to tell you horror stories to scare you.
As embarrassed as I am to admit it, the moment my third pregnancy went past 39 weeks, I felt ABANDONED BY GOD. Truly.
I was depressed my second and third pregnancies, and I got through it, and I found happiness again. There is laughter in my life, and gratitude and joy. Pregnancy does not actually last forever, and neither does infancy. It gets easier.
So if you are here because you are looking for someone who understands, believe me, I do. In fact, a whole lot of women do. Welcome to the blogosphere, where ordinary folks write out their stories for the world to read. Look around. You will find somebody who has been through what you are going through.
And it is worth it. That baby is worth it. Even if it feels like that baby will never come out, even if you are worried that you will be a bad mother, a mother much worse than anyone you know - you won’t. You will get through it, and you will love your baby, and you will be happy again someday.
So, all my regular readers who have born babies, I have a request for you, for the sake of our anonymous searchers. Tell me your own pregnancy story in the comments, or leave a link to a new or old post. Tell us how you got through it, how you beat depression, how you overcame your worries, how bad it can be and how good it becomes.
Tell us about your pregnancy.
(Anonymous searcher, if you haven’t read a blog before, the comments appear under this post, either on the same page or by clicking that little link that says “comments.”)
Well, I have to say with my first that Baskin-Robbins large chocolate shakes and movie size Kit Kat bars helped… alot!
I actually was pretty much okay for my first pregnancy although my labor and delivery was not what I imagined; my second pregnancy was another story. I had back issues and a son, age 7, who was going through all sorts of turmoil with the neighborhood boys. I was either in pain or crying because those mean ole boys weren’t being nice to my baby!!! Wah!!!!!!
I prayed more through the second pregnancy. I am a total soda addict and I gave up all sugar drinks for the last two months. I did it as more of a spiritual exercise than a health thing. I relied on my friends in a great way for emotional support. I read, ate, watched TV and slept in a big recliner.
Finally, I was blessed, so blessed, by a woman at my church who is a massage therapist. She gave me free masssages. Good massages. In fact, she gave me one on the day I went into labor.
The good thing about the second pregnancy was I knew it would come to an end. I could hardly wait for my first to be born and I was induced which I didn’t like. The second time I knew the baby would come and she did, 10 days late. I really was content for her to come in her own time.
If you are pregnant and miserable, remember, it doesn’t last forever. Your baby will come and then a whole new adventure will begin.
i can so relate to all of that. i have three and also would like one more but the thought of being pregnant again turns my stomach.
how i got through it was to baby myself. i just let myself off the hook of everything: i took naps, i ate comfort food, i had a massage, a pedicure, i took naps, did i mention the naps (they were the only time i wasn’t nauseous).
being that good to yourself is harder when you have kids and your pregnant but it can be done. when i was pregnant with #2, i napped with baby #1.
and the strange thing is, it is all worth it.
Thanks so much for sharing this. I have 2 gorgeous boys who are 5 and 2 and I am currently in that so so so tired stage, feeling sick ALL THE TIME, feeling fat not pregnant, can’t get comfy in ANY clothes which is commonly known as the 1st trimester. I struggle with the fact that I would’nt change the fact that I am pregnant for the world, we are thrilled to bits. I’ve always said to others ” I loved every minute of my pregnancies” but I must have had v.v. short memories, considering I was sick EVERY day with both boys but this time I am feeling sick all day long, and to be honest I am really struggling. I am moody my husband is suffering as much as me, and yet I am thankful I feel like this cos isn’t this a sign of a strong pregnancy? I am just praying that this is going to pass over in the next few weeks when I go passed 12 weeks, I really want to enjoy my pregnancy because this will be my last, and I have friends who can’t get pregnant who would desperatly love to feel as awful as I do! So I am such a contradiction at the moment, I am so happy, yet so grummpy, I feel physically well, yet so so sick! Sorry to moan, I think I needed to vent all this to people who know what I am talking about. Despite all this though I am truly aware of how unbelievably blessed I am and I thank the Lord for all He’s done x
Thanks, Veronica, for never telling me how much you loved being pregnant. It keeps me from getting TOO snippy in public with those who assume I’m having the time of my life (I am, just not THAT way)…
I spent long enough on the comment that I have to go eat again!
Each of my pregnancies (three kids, two miscarriages) was worse than the last, both physically and mentally. The worst thing is that when you’re in the thick of it, you can’t imagine any other existence. I remember feeling terrible guilt during my last pregnancy because I didn’t have the energy to walk the two short blocks to school, and I drove my kids every day. Even though I’d been pregnant before, I couldn’t really believe that not being able to walk the distance was temporary. But of course it was.
Also, here’s an interesting thing: in my experience, the worse the pregnancy, the smoother the labor and birth! I blogged about my last birth here.
Some of the Google searches that bring people to my blog scare me! Seriously. Like the one, “Donna on top of me”.
I’m on my second pregnancy with a miscarriage in between. The first time around I put up with nauseau for 13 weeks, shaky-leg syndrome (some might call it ’round ligament pain,’ but not me), heartburn, discomfort, and after 38 weeks of bragging that I didn’t have a one, stretch marks.
This pregnancy, at 6 months, has been exactly like the first, with the added bonus of having to keep up with a 2-year old. I’m pretty tired.
Labour - and I like to do it without drugs, at home - is easier.
BUT - I have also never been prouder of my body, felt more beautiful, or been more amazed by women. And the outcome? Worth every freakin’ uncomfortable, whale-like minute.
I’ve given birth to five kids. I absolutely adore each one of them. But pregnancy was the most miserable experience of my life each and every time. The non-stop nausea, the crushing depression, the constant fatigue–those would be bad enough.
With pregnancies #2-5, I couldn’t just go lie down until I felt better; I had kids to care for as well. That is a huge challenge.
I also have a rare condition in which my pubic bones separate early (they are supposed to separate during labor to let the baby through the birth canal). With baby #1, it happened 10 days before delivery. With each child, it happened earlier and earlier, until with the last, they separated when I was only six months along.
With your pubic bones separated, all that baby weight (and all of yours) is put on the ligaments that hold your pelvis together. This makes for excruciating pain and extreme difficulty walking. It’s a bad scene.
I found a female chiropractor for baby #5 who could “put me back together,” which would last a couple of days, so I did have some respite that time around.
For me, the good news was that the depression and bone separation always disappeared immediately after delivery. I am blessed never to have had PPD.
And my kids were worth every second of the torture. My husband and I treasure them; we have a great time at our house.
I was the pregnant lady that all the other pregnant ladies hated. I was joyful, radiant and I felt better and looked better than I ever had in my entire life, or since. I never had morning sickness or any of the typical complaints. Or maybe I did and I just overlooked it because I was in my mid-40s and had finally gotten the gift I was never supposed to get. I just remember being on cloud nine even on the days when my sciatic nerve brought me to my knees in the middle of the Wal-Mart parking lot
Since the birth, it hasn’t been all roses and sunshine and I don’t look so great most days and I long for the days when my tummy was huge and all the peoples of the kingdom were kind to me.
I remember being pregnant with twins when I had a 6, 4, and 2 year old. I couldn’t bear being woken up all night from the back, stomach, leg, and everything pain. I especially loved it when people said, “you think it’s bad now, just wait until they’re born.” What a load of crap! It’s better to be woken up by selfish demanding babies who are at least cute than by stabbing intermittant pains with no face or purpose.
I’m an old grandmother now. In my mid-20s to mid-30s I gave birth to 7 healthy children in ten years (one at a time!) Each time I was pregnant I was physically miserable and each time I held my new baby, I was delighted and sort of “forgot” how trying those 9-months had been. Now I have 7 grandchildren. Believe me, it was all worth it and I know I have been blessed.
I have three girls, and I ClEaRlY remember bringing our first daughter home from the hospital and being, literally, scared to death of her! I didn’t know what to do with her, I was so anxious about feeding her, changing her diapers, holding her, I couldn’t clean her cord. NOTHING! My husband literally did everything for about the first few weeks. I was severely depressed. Nothing had prepared me for being a mom, and we had tried for two years to get pregnant! I started taking Zoloft and was feeling a little better within a month. I had my second daughter very quickly after our first and this time around, life was easier. I could handle it better, wasn’t feeling depressed. By the time we had our third daughter, I finally felt like I really got it. I remember my sister in law telling me when we had our first daughter “Katie, just remember to relax and enjoy it” and I remember thinking she had lost her mind. I couldn’t figure out what was enjoyable about a newborn. After our third daughter was born, that’s when I found out what she meant. I was finally able to settle into being a mom and breastfeeding, holding her, playing with her, etc. Sometimes it’s a personality issue, babies are people and people are allllll different! Just know that you are not alone. More moms than you know are scared, anxious and depressed. It’s not always going to be easy and you don’t always know the answers, but you are so not alone!
Thanks for letting me write!
K
Pregnancy is kind of crappy unless you’re one of those lucky, odd women who really, really love it. But there are many sweet things about pregnancy - the uninhibited eating! the sweetness of a baby moving inside you! and maternity clothing is deeply hilarious.
And the baby will make it all worth while. Really. Rest while you can, try to keep as comfortable as you can and remember that it won’t be forever.
I really hated being pregnant. Now that I look back I think I was mildly depressed through all 4 pregnancies. Sure, there were times where I loved feeling the baby move and I always thought fondly of whoever was actually in there, but the stretched out bloated body that had a whole life of it’s own was Most Unenjoyable. The good news? It’s over quickly, you body bounces back (although it’s bounce is a little different now) and you’ve got this great little yummy baby to cuddle with. It definately pays of in the end.
I am currently pregnant with my third, and now that I’ve reached the second trimester (Motto: Life is Bliss), I’m doing better.
That said, I posted a few weeks back, when I was in the throes of nausea and exhaustion, that I truly, really, from the bottom of my heart dislike being pregnant. I would be overjoyed if they could find a way to remove the 10-day-old baby from my womb and let it grow in hospital the rest of the 10 months so I could go visit and behold the miracle without having to be so intimately involved.
But alas. God’s wisdom is better than mine, right? That’s what I keep reminding myself. “This is one of the only times you get to be a part of a miracle, Kelly. A miracle! Suck it up!”
6 kids. 6 looooooooong pregnancies. 6 labors. 6 deliveries and the last 3 were at home. Hospitals- UGH!! 1st trimester- sick, tired and my pants already don’t fit. 2nd trimester- I am on top of the world and feeling good. 3rd trimester- world yanked out from under me, huge, big, tired and impossible to see if I tied my shoes or not. Another one? Maybe.
I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding for over a decade!! LOL There were short breaks in between our babies. Man, I love being a mom!!!
I was sick 24/7 for 8 months. Seriously, I threw up at least 10 times a day. But I still managed to gain 50 pounds (ok - 47, but who’s counting?). I found out I was pregnant the same day I got braces. So, I was VERY attractive those 9 long months. I pushed for 3 hours with no drugs. But, in the end, I had a healthy baby. It was worth it. But I wouldn’t want to do it again.
Egh….my first pregnancy was pretty uneventful, physical-wise. I hated the looks I would get, though (I was only 18)….like I was a young kid “in trouble”….I was married when I got pregnant! And even if I wasn’t, back off, y’know?
I’m now 4 months into my second pregnancy, and now I understand all the stories I heard about how miserable pregnancy can be. The fatigue, the bloating, the nausea, and, oh, the FATIGUE. But now there’s a 3-year-old running around in the midst of it.
But even through all of this, when my son gives me a kiss and shouts, “I love you TOO-OOO!”…I remember why it’s all worth it.
My first pregnancy was a breeze. The only problem I had was I was a little tired in the evening. I enjoyed being pregant and looked forward to having some more children. Labour was fine for the first time.
Fast forward to my second pregnancy. Morning sickness for eight months and it was all day sickness not just morning. Then the last month and half, bladder infections that started premature labour and then have to go to the hospital to stop the labour. She was induced and the labour was hard it only lasted 6 hours but still. I got postpartum depression with her as well. I miscarried my next baby and we decided not to have anymore children. The miscarriage was devastating and we didn’t want to go through that heart break again. Clare
Well, let’s see, how much time do you have?
I was not a cheery pregnant woman. Not at all. Many nasty moments come to mind, but the worst one involves sitting, moaning, in the floor of the bathroom, head over the potty. Oh, I shudder just to think of it.
Glowed- almost literally - my whole first pregnancy. Then close to 24 hours of labor, including 3 1/2 hours of pushing. Immediately said I’d do it all over again. 16 lbs 2 oz worth of twins in my second and last pregnancy. I was absolutely miserable the whole 39 (yup, count ‘em - 39!!!!!!) weeks. Had to practically blackmail my midwife to induce me - they kept telling me that NO twin pregnancy goes all the way to 40 weeks. Couldn’t walk, couldn’t eat, couldn’t breath, couldn’t sleep - and then I got PUPP- nasty, itchy rash all over my body. Just one of the lucky 1% of all pregnancies that get it. 6 hours of labor, 5 pushes each and perfectly healthy babies. Then came the really fun part - a toddler and two breast-feeding newborns. But we all survived and it does go fast - my twins are starting kindergarten in Sept. You do what you have to do and try to enjoy it as much as you can.
Like Elizabeth (#10 above), my seven pregnancies were long ago and far away. They included a full-term stillbirth, which nearly broke my heart. I cherish my adult children inordinately. The oldest was senselessly killed at age 29, and I still weep when I think of him.
Our multiply disabled son still lives at home with us, but we are at a juncture where it may be better for all three of us if he lives in a group home. He does not want this, nor do we. Life is unfair, and death and disability suck big time.
Eight nearby grandchildren brighten my heart. Children are our faith that there will indeed BE a future. Please know in your deepest heart that the love you have for your children deepens and increases as they become adults. I promise you it never diminishes.
An interesting phenomenon I’ve noticed over the years is that, often when I see or hear a baby, I get that tingly milk-let-down sensation in my breasts. I guess there’s enuf estrogen left to crank out that old feeling.
Tap into your feminine courage, you desperate pregnant young women. Celestial merit badges are handed out for doing this immense work of creation. You willl never do anything of more value than raising your children.
Aww… so many sweet replies, especially from you grandmothers.
I am boggled by and envious of women who love pregnancy. I love it only because it means a baby on the way–everything else about it sucks, even the kicking. Sure, it reassures you that all is well, but it’s all kinds of uncomfortable.
I don’t even have particularly hard pregnancy symptoms (nothing like the 8 months of constant illness, or depression…just a small frame and a very large husband, so big babies squeezed into too tight a spot), so I can hardly complain, but I think the curse of Eve is not just about labor–it’s about the whole kit and caboodle of becoming and being a mother–guaranteed pain and heartbreak. Luckily, it’s not all bad, there are those wonderful sweet moments when your little one throws her arms around you and kisses you senseless.
Somehow, it’s all worth it.
AllRileyedUp suggested I link here - seems like a lot of us are currently relating pregnancy stories. While I had no idea that there was a theme running around, yesterday I posted a little of my own pregnancy experience here. It’s quite the opposite from yours: my depression came with the BABY, rather than with the pregnancy.
Dear “Pregnant and Miserable,”
First off, let me just clear up one thing: If you have never visited my blog, you might assume that I’m serious when I call myself a “calm mama” — but frankly it’s a combination of irony and optimism. I would love to be calm. I strive for calm. I dream of calm. I Dream of Jeanie and sometimes she blinkles her eyes with a brisk head-nod and I feel better.
I’ve had good days and bad days. Certainly not the kind of get-up-and-go days in my (current) second trimester that all the books promised.
It’s been a long road to get to Week 22, full of panic over dubious test results, fear that I should never have gotten pregnant, fear that something I ate or breathed will harm the developing baby, worry that I’m too depressed to handle these hormonal mood swings, (ugh — the mood swings!) not to mention worry that I won’t be a good mother, won’t love my son.
I kind-of hate those people who say things like “You should have a JOYFUL pregnancy.” And seriously, mine’s not even that bad. So add to everything else, guilt that I should be more grateful.
Actually, I can’t speak to whatever is making you miserable, I don’t know your story.
I know that I do feel good sometimes, that, so far, I wouldn’t mind going through pregnancy again. When I blog, I often try to write more about the good than the bad, because that helps me to elongate the good moments.
I haven’t been that nauseous, I haven’t gained that much weight, I look kind of cute with a pregnant belly, my husband still thinks I’m sexy…
Yes, and the heartburn sucks, and my thighs and butt are bigger than ever in my life, and bloating is very uncomfortable, and I don’t feel terribly sexy at all, and every parent I know keeps leering at me and chortling about how in a few months I’ll never sleep or have free time again…
I don’t know. Sometimes when it’s bad, or just after it’s bad, I can still find something funny in it. That helps. Sometimes I just give in to it all. G-d and the universe must have me in hand. And you too.
[...] And then I came across this post in Toddled Dredge. [...]
I too had a great first pregnancy. No complaints except for some anxiety about being a new mom. Currently I am pregnant with my second child, and chasing my 2 year old. I have to say that I don’t enjoy this pregnancy, sickness, vomiting, aching, cramping, feeling run down, hungery? or not? who knows. I feel very emotional lately and cry a lot! I try to thank The Lord through all of this, knowing HE is the only one who can get me through. I hope that what all of you say about forgeting and things getting easier is true. I just want to feel better again, and not feel guilty about wanting this pregnancy to be over, not spending enough time with my daughter, and my husband; who has been wonderful this whole time, GOD bless him. Thank you all for your posts, and keep posting, it helps to know that I’m not alone.
Oh man oh man. I called my pregnancy “painfull perfect”. It was in every way. No high blood pressure, not diabetes. Just some swelling at the end.
But like you I hated having to watch what I ate, hated being sick at my stomach off and on. Hated not being able to do this or that. I hated being clumsy. I hated the way my ILs made me feel…basically like a human delivery truck…you would think I was having the baby for THEM and actually got mad when we would make decisions…we lived with them when I got pregnant as we were saving for a house. There was no way I was gonna have my kid in their house for many many reasons (one of which the house was really too small as SIL was living there as well…). They actually got so mad that they refused to talk to us for weeks after we moved into our new apartment. Then they got mad because we didn’t want the style of furiniture THEY had picked out…then they got mad because some friends of mine wanted to throw the baby shower and refused to help with it…they got so mad that at one point they told me that we should buy anything because I might lose the baby (I was 6 months pregnant at that time) only because we told them not to buy that ugly furniture and they were going to do it anyway.
I hated not being able to clean my house properly. I couldn’t load or unlaod the dishwasher without a break. I couldn’t vaccum the floor after about month 7 and had to get DH to do it. I had to sit on the floor and toss clothes into the washer because I couldn’t reach down and stand up, reach down and stand up.
My back HURT. It didn’t ache, it HURT. Around month 8 I started to retain fluid. My due date came and went and I remember being in tears in the midwife clinic begging them to do something…I was tired of being pregnant, swollen and in pain, losing my breath now and again when the braxton hicks contractions would start. When they took me in for a stress test…all was great. Nothing was wrong…not even an ever so slightly elevated blood pressure.
It was perfect. And I was miserable.
And still in the end it was all worth it. I got through the pregnancy and the ppd. My son is now 2.5+ years old and though he can be a hellraiser I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
I was pregnant three times, one of them ending in miscarriage. The first pregnancy was a nightmare far away from my family with few friends in the new place and a husband working the opposite shift. I ended up with complications–gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia and eventually HELLP syndrome which isn’t something you want to mess around with. Then I had an emergency c-section after hearing the doctors fighting in the hall over what to do and the fact they had NONE of my blood type on hand (HELLP reduces platelets and you have a hard time clotting). Finally a healthy, smallish baby and me on magnesium sulfate all night long wondering why they would leave me with this infant. Before baby I was worried about my parents coming and driving me nuts–as it ended up I sobbed the day they left (and often afterwards). I wish I’d gotten some help, I was depressed, miserable and never said a word. Thankfully I had wonderful people around me who could see it even if I wasn’t talking about it.
After #1 I decided to take things into my own hands if I was going to have another. I lost 100 pounds, I exercised, I talked with a counselor. The second pregnancy was markedly easier, even with a 2 year old in the house. The only problem was that I didn’t sleep much for the entire 9 months and it took a huge toll emotionally. I gained back a lot of the weight during the pregnancy and still haven’t gotten rid of it.
I wouldn’t trade either of my girls for anything. They are both so precious. I knew one day when the youngest was about 1 month old that our family was complete. I was sitting in a chair with the two of them and never had such a feeling of “rightness” about anything. Its worth every miserable moment.
Hey, love this thread. I got here from Calm Before the Stork, my dear friend who saw me through my two pregnancies and is now doing it herself.
My pregnancies were very, very easy. Since then life has been incredibly challenging. Argh. But the pregnancies - I just think your biology creates some of it; my mother had no nausea and I didn’t either. I didn’t have swelling or other issues. I was vigorous and peppy and I napped when I needed to and I just coped in general.
Three weeks post-partum to the day for kid #1 and kid #2 I had such a meltdown that I thought I’d have to give the baby(ies) up for adoption. I became suddenly overwhelmed, monstrously so. When it happened the second time I realized it had to be hormone-driven.
I’m just grateful that I was blessed with the easy pregnancies, and I’m also aware that it’s probably nothing I did, ate or thought. So when other people have a tough time I sympathize, because I know it could have been me but for the luck of the genetic draw.
Here I am at 32 weeks in my third pregnancy. Ironic really as I am definately not a glowing pregnant woman and at this point feel big tired and ready to throw in the towel!
My first daughter was born following two miscarriages and it was a reasonably easy pregnancy apart from a threatened miscarriage in the first trimester and a touch of morning sickness. We lived on the opposite side of the world from family and friends and yet I managed to survive. I then went on to have an ectopic pregnancy and ruptured losing a tube and almost died on the way to hospital - a whole other story! Mad as it is we tried again and our second daughter was born and she has been as much of a joy as our first. Again pregnancy was reasonable tho I can’t say that I really enjoyed it! And here we are again - practically zero chance of conceiving never mind keeping a baby!
Fate has intervened and whilst I know how it happened can’t quite believe it did! This is most definately our final child. I was so sick for 15 weeks I spent most of the time in the bathroom. Considering it wasn’t planned it was a cruel way to start things off! My body feels like it is falling apart but I know that it will be worth it. My boy is due in about 6 weeks time and I will be so glad to go into the newborn sleep deprivation stage and not have to endure the big belly and unable to sleep stage!! For all of those people who have sniggered when they realise I am about to have a third child (my girls are five and two years old) and told me I must be mad I can only say they have no idea what my journey has been like and to be blessed with another child is fate and I will hopefully enjoy every minute of it!!
I think you are all selfish, my daughter would give anything to have a normal pregnancy. Its only 9 months and not all of it is miserable, shame on you. I know you love your children but be grateful that you got the chance to be pregnant and stay pregnant and have healthy babies.
Lynn, your comment obviously comes out of pain. I am sorry for your loss, and your daughter’s loss.
If you took the time to get to know some of these commenters better, you would know that some of them have also had miscarriages or almost never had a baby at all.
Of course a healthy pregnancy is a great thing. But not every pregnant woman has to be happy all the time. The pain of one woman’s miscarriages or infertility does not mean that the discomfort or pain or depression or danger of other women’s pregnancies ceases to be real or deserve compassion.
Your daughter’s sorrow has my sympathy. I hope she has a healthy child someday. It is a wonderful thing and worthy of longing. But whether she has a child or not, life is not a contest where the person with the most suffering wins the prize of despising everyone else.
[...] exactly brings people to this blog? Besides the pregnant and miserable, who is looking for wisdom here at Toddled Dredge? Here are a few of the signposts by which [...]
I’m 35 weeks pregnant with twins. This is my second pregnancy…my ds is almost three. I found this blog searching “pregnant with twins miserable”. I haven’t been really “miserable” this time until just recently.
My intro to motherhood was a disaster. Our first pregnancy was six months after we were married and it was unplanned. That was ok…but then my son was colicy and didn’t sleep for 10 1/2 months (literally).
This current pregnancy was planned and I was totally expecting to enjoy it and hoping for a second chance to enjoy the infancy stage of my child’s life and for a chance to use all my wonderful, hard-hearned mommy-skills on my second baby.
Then we found out at twenty weeks about the twins. Honestly, I was pretty disappointed, because now I have visions everyday of re-living the nightmare that was my son’s first year, only this time there will be two infants and a toddler involved.
So, yeah….pregnancy is hard, but occasionally I see glimpses of joy in it.
Thanks for sharing your stories, ladies.
I came across your blog after Googling - you guess it - “uncomfortable miserable pregnancy” for a friend. I wish that I could give her some advice or even tell her how to make it through the last few months.
I had 8 myself, and fortunately, the memories do fade with time. I know with my twins I was so huge and so uncomfortable that I would lie down as much as possible and much of my days were spent crying.
Even so, they were SO worth it, and it DID pass, and I went on to do it again with #8.
I’ve often thought that the reason we get so utterly miserable at the end is that it means we are willing to go through WHATEVER it takes to have that baby out of there!
Thanks so much for all these posts. My husband and I have been trying for two years and are finally pregnant after I lost one baby, but I must say as grateful as I am I am completely MISERABLE! I suffer from depression and severe anxiety/panic attacks and this has only increased since I became pregnant… I feel so desperate and crazy sometimes- I think constantly about leaving my husband and handing the baby over to him without looking back. Everday I worry about a miscarriage, or birth defects, or that I will be a bad mother like mine was- this is just honestly the most mental anguish I’ve faced and it’s for NO REASON! Everything in my life is perfect and exactly where I want it to be, but these hormones are keeping me in the depths of severe depression and cripling anxiety
It does help to hear from all you lovely ladies that this is normal for some of us and that it gets better. Thank God! In the meantime I will just continue to pray.
Hi Ladies! I just wanted to say reading all of your wonderful posts really helped me a lot. You all are so strong and brave!
So here I am on my first pregnancy, and I’m kind of nervous. I always thought that I would be really scared of the pain of delivery, but I’m actually really calm about it. I’m way more scared about going to the doctor and telling our parents.
My Husband and I just got married this March 2oth. This is an unplanned pregnancy, but not unwanted! Although we just got married we have been together for close to 5 years. I trust him, he is a sweet and giving man and I know he’ll be an awesome father. He’s so great with kids! I’ve always wanted to have children this is really a dream come true. I’m not that young. I’m 24 years old, but I know our parents are going to tell us that we are too young. We are so worried that we are going to loose their support. My Husband is worried that his parents are going to be furious. His mother may be just disappointed but his father is going to be mad. We don’t have much money we spent it on moving into our dream house last year. My Hubbie is a student in Nursing school and ideally we were going to have kids after he graduated.
I know that my mother is going to guilt trip me and tell me that I should have an abortion and I really don’t want to hear that so I’m scared to death to tell her. We haven’t told anybody yet. It will kill us if our parents disown us. Anyone have any good advise how to tell them?
I never knew how many things women go through during pregnancy, I thought morning sickness, Thats not that bad, I can get through that. So far I’ve been sick all day everyday since before I found out. I have been dizzy, crampy, more tired than I have ever been in my life, super hungry, not really grumpy but just a tad weepy. I can’t sleep at all. I wake up with heart burn, ringing in my ears and a pounding heart. Anyone else experiencing that? Anyways Before I write a novel… Take care. Chow Bellas
Well, I was due last Wednesday and I can say this has been the worst experience of my life. I am soo miserable and it hurts to just “be”. I can’t lay, sit, stand, walk, etc to alleviate the pain and pressure. I googled “pregnant and miserable” and here I am. I am hoping that maybe I can post on here and come back and re-post after my son arrives to give the next person some sort of inspiration, however it seems impossible that I’m going to be happy ever again. I do love my son, already, but it is so hard to not be a miserable person…it seems to own me at this time. I started swelling at about 18 weeks…gained about 45 pounds, the doctor says he’s happy with it considering the water retention that I am experiencing…(and please, don’t somebody tell me that this can be prevented–maybe it can and if there is a next time, I assure you and myself that it will be different from the beginning). My heart-burn is so bad that I have to sleep sitting up. My hands have been numb and I haven’t been able to breathe since about 8 weeks. I was in a wedding about two months ago and I haven’t looked at one picture and it was hard for me to be super happy for my friend getting married b/c I, at the last minute, had wondered what I was doing when I committed to be a brides maid at 32 weeks!
So, you get the point…I am miserable…and INSANELY depressed–have been at least slightly depressed about the whole time. I envy my husband–he seems to flow through life…to work every day and I’m here feeling pain every single minute! I finally couldn’t work anymore after Monday…my job requires a lot of physical movement and I just couldn’t do it.
All in all….here’s hoping for a brighter future!