One of the searches that has brought several people here are some variants of the phrase “pregnant and miserable.”
Oh, honey. I hear you.
I have three kids, and I love them dearly, so dearly that I would like to have a fourth, but I hated pregnancy every single time, possibly for every single moment.
I hate restricting what I can eat. I hate being unable to eat because of nausea. I hate being desperate to eat because I’ve gone half-an-hour without a snack.
I hate the fat and the stretch marks and the mood swings and the stares and the strangers acting weird towards you and the isolation and the people who don’t understand and the people who try to tell you horror stories to scare you.
As embarrassed as I am to admit it, the moment my third pregnancy went past 39 weeks, I felt ABANDONED BY GOD. Truly.
I was depressed my second and third pregnancies, and I got through it, and I found happiness again. There is laughter in my life, and gratitude and joy. Pregnancy does not actually last forever, and neither does infancy. It gets easier.
So if you are here because you are looking for someone who understands, believe me, I do. In fact, a whole lot of women do. Welcome to the blogosphere, where ordinary folks write out their stories for the world to read. Look around. You will find somebody who has been through what you are going through.
And it is worth it. That baby is worth it. Even if it feels like that baby will never come out, even if you are worried that you will be a bad mother, a mother much worse than anyone you know – you won’t. You will get through it, and you will love your baby, and you will be happy again someday.
So, all my regular readers who have born babies, I have a request for you, for the sake of our anonymous searchers. Tell me your own pregnancy story in the comments, or leave a link to a new or old post. Tell us how you got through it, how you beat depression, how you overcame your worries, how bad it can be and how good it becomes.
Tell us about your pregnancy.
(Anonymous searcher, if you haven’t read a blog before, the comments appear under this post, either on the same page or by clicking that little link that says “comments.”)
Well, I have to say with my first that Baskin-Robbins large chocolate shakes and movie size Kit Kat bars helped… alot!
I actually was pretty much okay for my first pregnancy although my labor and delivery was not what I imagined; my second pregnancy was another story. I had back issues and a son, age 7, who was going through all sorts of turmoil with the neighborhood boys. I was either in pain or crying because those mean ole boys weren’t being nice to my baby!!! Wah!!!!!!
I prayed more through the second pregnancy. I am a total soda addict and I gave up all sugar drinks for the last two months. I did it as more of a spiritual exercise than a health thing. I relied on my friends in a great way for emotional support. I read, ate, watched TV and slept in a big recliner.
Finally, I was blessed, so blessed, by a woman at my church who is a massage therapist. She gave me free masssages. Good massages. In fact, she gave me one on the day I went into labor.
The good thing about the second pregnancy was I knew it would come to an end. I could hardly wait for my first to be born and I was induced which I didn’t like. The second time I knew the baby would come and she did, 10 days late. I really was content for her to come in her own time.
If you are pregnant and miserable, remember, it doesn’t last forever. Your baby will come and then a whole new adventure will begin.
i can so relate to all of that. i have three and also would like one more but the thought of being pregnant again turns my stomach.
how i got through it was to baby myself. i just let myself off the hook of everything: i took naps, i ate comfort food, i had a massage, a pedicure, i took naps, did i mention the naps (they were the only time i wasn’t nauseous).
being that good to yourself is harder when you have kids and your pregnant but it can be done. when i was pregnant with #2, i napped with baby #1.
and the strange thing is, it is all worth it.
Thanks so much for sharing this. I have 2 gorgeous boys who are 5 and 2 and I am currently in that so so so tired stage, feeling sick ALL THE TIME, feeling fat not pregnant, can’t get comfy in ANY clothes which is commonly known as the 1st trimester. I struggle with the fact that I would’nt change the fact that I am pregnant for the world, we are thrilled to bits. I’ve always said to others ” I loved every minute of my pregnancies” but I must have had v.v. short memories, considering I was sick EVERY day with both boys but this time I am feeling sick all day long, and to be honest I am really struggling. I am moody my husband is suffering as much as me, and yet I am thankful I feel like this cos isn’t this a sign of a strong pregnancy? I am just praying that this is going to pass over in the next few weeks when I go passed 12 weeks, I really want to enjoy my pregnancy because this will be my last, and I have friends who can’t get pregnant who would desperatly love to feel as awful as I do! So I am such a contradiction at the moment, I am so happy, yet so grummpy, I feel physically well, yet so so sick! Sorry to moan, I think I needed to vent all this to people who know what I am talking about. Despite all this though I am truly aware of how unbelievably blessed I am and I thank the Lord for all He’s done x
Thanks, Veronica, for never telling me how much you loved being pregnant. It keeps me from getting TOO snippy in public with those who assume I’m having the time of my life (I am, just not THAT way)…
I spent long enough on the comment that I have to go eat again!
Each of my pregnancies (three kids, two miscarriages) was worse than the last, both physically and mentally. The worst thing is that when you’re in the thick of it, you can’t imagine any other existence. I remember feeling terrible guilt during my last pregnancy because I didn’t have the energy to walk the two short blocks to school, and I drove my kids every day. Even though I’d been pregnant before, I couldn’t really believe that not being able to walk the distance was temporary. But of course it was.
Also, here’s an interesting thing: in my experience, the worse the pregnancy, the smoother the labor and birth! I blogged about my last birth here.
Some of the Google searches that bring people to my blog scare me! Seriously. Like the one, “Donna on top of me”.
I’m on my second pregnancy with a miscarriage in between. The first time around I put up with nauseau for 13 weeks, shaky-leg syndrome (some might call it ’round ligament pain,’ but not me), heartburn, discomfort, and after 38 weeks of bragging that I didn’t have a one, stretch marks.
This pregnancy, at 6 months, has been exactly like the first, with the added bonus of having to keep up with a 2-year old. I’m pretty tired.
Labour – and I like to do it without drugs, at home – is easier.
BUT – I have also never been prouder of my body, felt more beautiful, or been more amazed by women. And the outcome? Worth every freakin’ uncomfortable, whale-like minute.
I’ve given birth to five kids. I absolutely adore each one of them. But pregnancy was the most miserable experience of my life each and every time. The non-stop nausea, the crushing depression, the constant fatigue–those would be bad enough.
With pregnancies #2-5, I couldn’t just go lie down until I felt better; I had kids to care for as well. That is a huge challenge.
I also have a rare condition in which my pubic bones separate early (they are supposed to separate during labor to let the baby through the birth canal). With baby #1, it happened 10 days before delivery. With each child, it happened earlier and earlier, until with the last, they separated when I was only six months along.
With your pubic bones separated, all that baby weight (and all of yours) is put on the ligaments that hold your pelvis together. This makes for excruciating pain and extreme difficulty walking. It’s a bad scene.
I found a female chiropractor for baby #5 who could “put me back together,” which would last a couple of days, so I did have some respite that time around.
For me, the good news was that the depression and bone separation always disappeared immediately after delivery. I am blessed never to have had PPD.
And my kids were worth every second of the torture. My husband and I treasure them; we have a great time at our house.
I was the pregnant lady that all the other pregnant ladies hated. I was joyful, radiant and I felt better and looked better than I ever had in my entire life, or since. I never had morning sickness or any of the typical complaints. Or maybe I did and I just overlooked it because I was in my mid-40s and had finally gotten the gift I was never supposed to get. I just remember being on cloud nine even on the days when my sciatic nerve brought me to my knees in the middle of the Wal-Mart parking lot
Since the birth, it hasn’t been all roses and sunshine and I don’t look so great most days and I long for the days when my tummy was huge and all the peoples of the kingdom were kind to me.
I remember being pregnant with twins when I had a 6, 4, and 2 year old. I couldn’t bear being woken up all night from the back, stomach, leg, and everything pain. I especially loved it when people said, “you think it’s bad now, just wait until they’re born.” What a load of crap! It’s better to be woken up by selfish demanding babies who are at least cute than by stabbing intermittant pains with no face or purpose.
I’m an old grandmother now. In my mid-20s to mid-30s I gave birth to 7 healthy children in ten years (one at a time!) Each time I was pregnant I was physically miserable and each time I held my new baby, I was delighted and sort of “forgot” how trying those 9-months had been. Now I have 7 grandchildren. Believe me, it was all worth it and I know I have been blessed.
I have three girls, and I ClEaRlY remember bringing our first daughter home from the hospital and being, literally, scared to death of her! I didn’t know what to do with her, I was so anxious about feeding her, changing her diapers, holding her, I couldn’t clean her cord. NOTHING! My husband literally did everything for about the first few weeks. I was severely depressed. Nothing had prepared me for being a mom, and we had tried for two years to get pregnant! I started taking Zoloft and was feeling a little better within a month. I had my second daughter very quickly after our first and this time around, life was easier. I could handle it better, wasn’t feeling depressed. By the time we had our third daughter, I finally felt like I really got it. I remember my sister in law telling me when we had our first daughter “Katie, just remember to relax and enjoy it” and I remember thinking she had lost her mind. I couldn’t figure out what was enjoyable about a newborn. After our third daughter was born, that’s when I found out what she meant. I was finally able to settle into being a mom and breastfeeding, holding her, playing with her, etc. Sometimes it’s a personality issue, babies are people and people are allllll different! Just know that you are not alone. More moms than you know are scared, anxious and depressed. It’s not always going to be easy and you don’t always know the answers, but you are so not alone!
Thanks for letting me write!
K
Pregnancy is kind of crappy unless you’re one of those lucky, odd women who really, really love it. But there are many sweet things about pregnancy – the uninhibited eating! the sweetness of a baby moving inside you! and maternity clothing is deeply hilarious.
And the baby will make it all worth while. Really. Rest while you can, try to keep as comfortable as you can and remember that it won’t be forever.
I really hated being pregnant. Now that I look back I think I was mildly depressed through all 4 pregnancies. Sure, there were times where I loved feeling the baby move and I always thought fondly of whoever was actually in there, but the stretched out bloated body that had a whole life of it’s own was Most Unenjoyable. The good news? It’s over quickly, you body bounces back (although it’s bounce is a little different now) and you’ve got this great little yummy baby to cuddle with. It definately pays of in the end.
I am currently pregnant with my third, and now that I’ve reached the second trimester (Motto: Life is Bliss), I’m doing better.
That said, I posted a few weeks back, when I was in the throes of nausea and exhaustion, that I truly, really, from the bottom of my heart dislike being pregnant. I would be overjoyed if they could find a way to remove the 10-day-old baby from my womb and let it grow in hospital the rest of the 10 months so I could go visit and behold the miracle without having to be so intimately involved.
But alas. God’s wisdom is better than mine, right? That’s what I keep reminding myself. “This is one of the only times you get to be a part of a miracle, Kelly. A miracle! Suck it up!”
6 kids. 6 looooooooong pregnancies. 6 labors. 6 deliveries and the last 3 were at home. Hospitals- UGH!! 1st trimester- sick, tired and my pants already don’t fit. 2nd trimester- I am on top of the world and feeling good. 3rd trimester- world yanked out from under me, huge, big, tired and impossible to see if I tied my shoes or not. Another one? Maybe.
I have been either pregnant or breastfeeding for over a decade!! LOL There were short breaks in between our babies. Man, I love being a mom!!!
I was sick 24/7 for 8 months. Seriously, I threw up at least 10 times a day. But I still managed to gain 50 pounds (ok – 47, but who’s counting?). I found out I was pregnant the same day I got braces. So, I was VERY attractive those 9 long months. I pushed for 3 hours with no drugs. But, in the end, I had a healthy baby. It was worth it. But I wouldn’t want to do it again.
Egh….my first pregnancy was pretty uneventful, physical-wise. I hated the looks I would get, though (I was only 18)….like I was a young kid “in trouble”….I was married when I got pregnant! And even if I wasn’t, back off, y’know?
I’m now 4 months into my second pregnancy, and now I understand all the stories I heard about how miserable pregnancy can be. The fatigue, the bloating, the nausea, and, oh, the FATIGUE. But now there’s a 3-year-old running around in the midst of it.
But even through all of this, when my son gives me a kiss and shouts, “I love you TOO-OOO!”…I remember why it’s all worth it.
My first pregnancy was a breeze. The only problem I had was I was a little tired in the evening. I enjoyed being pregant and looked forward to having some more children. Labour was fine for the first time.
Fast forward to my second pregnancy. Morning sickness for eight months and it was all day sickness not just morning. Then the last month and half, bladder infections that started premature labour and then have to go to the hospital to stop the labour. She was induced and the labour was hard it only lasted 6 hours but still. I got postpartum depression with her as well. I miscarried my next baby and we decided not to have anymore children. The miscarriage was devastating and we didn’t want to go through that heart break again. Clare
Well, let’s see, how much time do you have?
I was not a cheery pregnant woman. Not at all. Many nasty moments come to mind, but the worst one involves sitting, moaning, in the floor of the bathroom, head over the potty. Oh, I shudder just to think of it.
Glowed- almost literally – my whole first pregnancy. Then close to 24 hours of labor, including 3 1/2 hours of pushing. Immediately said I’d do it all over again. 16 lbs 2 oz worth of twins in my second and last pregnancy. I was absolutely miserable the whole 39 (yup, count ‘em – 39!!!!!!) weeks. Had to practically blackmail my midwife to induce me – they kept telling me that NO twin pregnancy goes all the way to 40 weeks. Couldn’t walk, couldn’t eat, couldn’t breath, couldn’t sleep – and then I got PUPP- nasty, itchy rash all over my body. Just one of the lucky 1% of all pregnancies that get it. 6 hours of labor, 5 pushes each and perfectly healthy babies. Then came the really fun part – a toddler and two breast-feeding newborns. But we all survived and it does go fast – my twins are starting kindergarten in Sept. You do what you have to do and try to enjoy it as much as you can.
Like Elizabeth (#10 above), my seven pregnancies were long ago and far away. They included a full-term stillbirth, which nearly broke my heart. I cherish my adult children inordinately. The oldest was senselessly killed at age 29, and I still weep when I think of him.
Our multiply disabled son still lives at home with us, but we are at a juncture where it may be better for all three of us if he lives in a group home. He does not want this, nor do we. Life is unfair, and death and disability suck big time.
Eight nearby grandchildren brighten my heart. Children are our faith that there will indeed BE a future. Please know in your deepest heart that the love you have for your children deepens and increases as they become adults. I promise you it never diminishes.
An interesting phenomenon I’ve noticed over the years is that, often when I see or hear a baby, I get that tingly milk-let-down sensation in my breasts. I guess there’s enuf estrogen left to crank out that old feeling.
Tap into your feminine courage, you desperate pregnant young women. Celestial merit badges are handed out for doing this immense work of creation. You willl never do anything of more value than raising your children.
Aww… so many sweet replies, especially from you grandmothers.
I am boggled by and envious of women who love pregnancy. I love it only because it means a baby on the way–everything else about it sucks, even the kicking. Sure, it reassures you that all is well, but it’s all kinds of uncomfortable.
I don’t even have particularly hard pregnancy symptoms (nothing like the 8 months of constant illness, or depression…just a small frame and a very large husband, so big babies squeezed into too tight a spot), so I can hardly complain, but I think the curse of Eve is not just about labor–it’s about the whole kit and caboodle of becoming and being a mother–guaranteed pain and heartbreak. Luckily, it’s not all bad, there are those wonderful sweet moments when your little one throws her arms around you and kisses you senseless.
Somehow, it’s all worth it.
AllRileyedUp suggested I link here – seems like a lot of us are currently relating pregnancy stories. While I had no idea that there was a theme running around, yesterday I posted a little of my own pregnancy experience here. It’s quite the opposite from yours: my depression came with the BABY, rather than with the pregnancy.
Dear “Pregnant and Miserable,”
First off, let me just clear up one thing: If you have never visited my blog, you might assume that I’m serious when I call myself a “calm mama” — but frankly it’s a combination of irony and optimism. I would love to be calm. I strive for calm. I dream of calm. I Dream of Jeanie and sometimes she blinkles her eyes with a brisk head-nod and I feel better.
I’ve had good days and bad days. Certainly not the kind of get-up-and-go days in my (current) second trimester that all the books promised.
It’s been a long road to get to Week 22, full of panic over dubious test results, fear that I should never have gotten pregnant, fear that something I ate or breathed will harm the developing baby, worry that I’m too depressed to handle these hormonal mood swings, (ugh — the mood swings!) not to mention worry that I won’t be a good mother, won’t love my son.
I kind-of hate those people who say things like “You should have a JOYFUL pregnancy.” And seriously, mine’s not even that bad. So add to everything else, guilt that I should be more grateful.
Actually, I can’t speak to whatever is making you miserable, I don’t know your story.
I know that I do feel good sometimes, that, so far, I wouldn’t mind going through pregnancy again. When I blog, I often try to write more about the good than the bad, because that helps me to elongate the good moments.
I haven’t been that nauseous, I haven’t gained that much weight, I look kind of cute with a pregnant belly, my husband still thinks I’m sexy…
Yes, and the heartburn sucks, and my thighs and butt are bigger than ever in my life, and bloating is very uncomfortable, and I don’t feel terribly sexy at all, and every parent I know keeps leering at me and chortling about how in a few months I’ll never sleep or have free time again…
I don’t know. Sometimes when it’s bad, or just after it’s bad, I can still find something funny in it. That helps. Sometimes I just give in to it all. G-d and the universe must have me in hand. And you too.
[...] And then I came across this post in Toddled Dredge. [...]
I too had a great first pregnancy. No complaints except for some anxiety about being a new mom. Currently I am pregnant with my second child, and chasing my 2 year old. I have to say that I don’t enjoy this pregnancy, sickness, vomiting, aching, cramping, feeling run down, hungery? or not? who knows. I feel very emotional lately and cry a lot! I try to thank The Lord through all of this, knowing HE is the only one who can get me through. I hope that what all of you say about forgeting and things getting easier is true. I just want to feel better again, and not feel guilty about wanting this pregnancy to be over, not spending enough time with my daughter, and my husband; who has been wonderful this whole time, GOD bless him. Thank you all for your posts, and keep posting, it helps to know that I’m not alone.
Oh man oh man. I called my pregnancy “painfull perfect”. It was in every way. No high blood pressure, not diabetes. Just some swelling at the end.
But like you I hated having to watch what I ate, hated being sick at my stomach off and on. Hated not being able to do this or that. I hated being clumsy. I hated the way my ILs made me feel…basically like a human delivery truck…you would think I was having the baby for THEM and actually got mad when we would make decisions…we lived with them when I got pregnant as we were saving for a house. There was no way I was gonna have my kid in their house for many many reasons (one of which the house was really too small as SIL was living there as well…). They actually got so mad that they refused to talk to us for weeks after we moved into our new apartment. Then they got mad because we didn’t want the style of furiniture THEY had picked out…then they got mad because some friends of mine wanted to throw the baby shower and refused to help with it…they got so mad that at one point they told me that we should buy anything because I might lose the baby (I was 6 months pregnant at that time) only because we told them not to buy that ugly furniture and they were going to do it anyway.
I hated not being able to clean my house properly. I couldn’t load or unlaod the dishwasher without a break. I couldn’t vaccum the floor after about month 7 and had to get DH to do it. I had to sit on the floor and toss clothes into the washer because I couldn’t reach down and stand up, reach down and stand up.
My back HURT. It didn’t ache, it HURT. Around month 8 I started to retain fluid. My due date came and went and I remember being in tears in the midwife clinic begging them to do something…I was tired of being pregnant, swollen and in pain, losing my breath now and again when the braxton hicks contractions would start. When they took me in for a stress test…all was great. Nothing was wrong…not even an ever so slightly elevated blood pressure.
It was perfect. And I was miserable.
And still in the end it was all worth it. I got through the pregnancy and the ppd. My son is now 2.5+ years old and though he can be a hellraiser I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
I was pregnant three times, one of them ending in miscarriage. The first pregnancy was a nightmare far away from my family with few friends in the new place and a husband working the opposite shift. I ended up with complications–gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia and eventually HELLP syndrome which isn’t something you want to mess around with. Then I had an emergency c-section after hearing the doctors fighting in the hall over what to do and the fact they had NONE of my blood type on hand (HELLP reduces platelets and you have a hard time clotting). Finally a healthy, smallish baby and me on magnesium sulfate all night long wondering why they would leave me with this infant. Before baby I was worried about my parents coming and driving me nuts–as it ended up I sobbed the day they left (and often afterwards). I wish I’d gotten some help, I was depressed, miserable and never said a word. Thankfully I had wonderful people around me who could see it even if I wasn’t talking about it.
After #1 I decided to take things into my own hands if I was going to have another. I lost 100 pounds, I exercised, I talked with a counselor. The second pregnancy was markedly easier, even with a 2 year old in the house. The only problem was that I didn’t sleep much for the entire 9 months and it took a huge toll emotionally. I gained back a lot of the weight during the pregnancy and still haven’t gotten rid of it.
I wouldn’t trade either of my girls for anything. They are both so precious. I knew one day when the youngest was about 1 month old that our family was complete. I was sitting in a chair with the two of them and never had such a feeling of “rightness” about anything. Its worth every miserable moment.
Hey, love this thread. I got here from Calm Before the Stork, my dear friend who saw me through my two pregnancies and is now doing it herself.
My pregnancies were very, very easy. Since then life has been incredibly challenging. Argh. But the pregnancies – I just think your biology creates some of it; my mother had no nausea and I didn’t either. I didn’t have swelling or other issues. I was vigorous and peppy and I napped when I needed to and I just coped in general.
Three weeks post-partum to the day for kid #1 and kid #2 I had such a meltdown that I thought I’d have to give the baby(ies) up for adoption. I became suddenly overwhelmed, monstrously so. When it happened the second time I realized it had to be hormone-driven.
I’m just grateful that I was blessed with the easy pregnancies, and I’m also aware that it’s probably nothing I did, ate or thought. So when other people have a tough time I sympathize, because I know it could have been me but for the luck of the genetic draw.
Here I am at 32 weeks in my third pregnancy. Ironic really as I am definately not a glowing pregnant woman and at this point feel big tired and ready to throw in the towel!
My first daughter was born following two miscarriages and it was a reasonably easy pregnancy apart from a threatened miscarriage in the first trimester and a touch of morning sickness. We lived on the opposite side of the world from family and friends and yet I managed to survive. I then went on to have an ectopic pregnancy and ruptured losing a tube and almost died on the way to hospital – a whole other story! Mad as it is we tried again and our second daughter was born and she has been as much of a joy as our first. Again pregnancy was reasonable tho I can’t say that I really enjoyed it! And here we are again – practically zero chance of conceiving never mind keeping a baby!
Fate has intervened and whilst I know how it happened can’t quite believe it did! This is most definately our final child. I was so sick for 15 weeks I spent most of the time in the bathroom. Considering it wasn’t planned it was a cruel way to start things off! My body feels like it is falling apart but I know that it will be worth it. My boy is due in about 6 weeks time and I will be so glad to go into the newborn sleep deprivation stage and not have to endure the big belly and unable to sleep stage!! For all of those people who have sniggered when they realise I am about to have a third child (my girls are five and two years old) and told me I must be mad I can only say they have no idea what my journey has been like and to be blessed with another child is fate and I will hopefully enjoy every minute of it!!
I think you are all selfish, my daughter would give anything to have a normal pregnancy. Its only 9 months and not all of it is miserable, shame on you. I know you love your children but be grateful that you got the chance to be pregnant and stay pregnant and have healthy babies.
Lynn, your comment obviously comes out of pain. I am sorry for your loss, and your daughter’s loss.
If you took the time to get to know some of these commenters better, you would know that some of them have also had miscarriages or almost never had a baby at all.
Of course a healthy pregnancy is a great thing. But not every pregnant woman has to be happy all the time. The pain of one woman’s miscarriages or infertility does not mean that the discomfort or pain or depression or danger of other women’s pregnancies ceases to be real or deserve compassion.
Your daughter’s sorrow has my sympathy. I hope she has a healthy child someday. It is a wonderful thing and worthy of longing. But whether she has a child or not, life is not a contest where the person with the most suffering wins the prize of despising everyone else.
[...] exactly brings people to this blog? Besides the pregnant and miserable, who is looking for wisdom here at Toddled Dredge? Here are a few of the signposts by which [...]
I’m 35 weeks pregnant with twins. This is my second pregnancy…my ds is almost three. I found this blog searching “pregnant with twins miserable”. I haven’t been really “miserable” this time until just recently.
My intro to motherhood was a disaster. Our first pregnancy was six months after we were married and it was unplanned. That was ok…but then my son was colicy and didn’t sleep for 10 1/2 months (literally).
This current pregnancy was planned and I was totally expecting to enjoy it and hoping for a second chance to enjoy the infancy stage of my child’s life and for a chance to use all my wonderful, hard-hearned mommy-skills on my second baby.
Then we found out at twenty weeks about the twins. Honestly, I was pretty disappointed, because now I have visions everyday of re-living the nightmare that was my son’s first year, only this time there will be two infants and a toddler involved.
So, yeah….pregnancy is hard, but occasionally I see glimpses of joy in it.
Thanks for sharing your stories, ladies.
I came across your blog after Googling – you guess it – “uncomfortable miserable pregnancy” for a friend. I wish that I could give her some advice or even tell her how to make it through the last few months.
I had 8 myself, and fortunately, the memories do fade with time. I know with my twins I was so huge and so uncomfortable that I would lie down as much as possible and much of my days were spent crying.
Even so, they were SO worth it, and it DID pass, and I went on to do it again with #8.
I’ve often thought that the reason we get so utterly miserable at the end is that it means we are willing to go through WHATEVER it takes to have that baby out of there!
Thanks so much for all these posts. My husband and I have been trying for two years and are finally pregnant after I lost one baby, but I must say as grateful as I am I am completely MISERABLE! I suffer from depression and severe anxiety/panic attacks and this has only increased since I became pregnant… I feel so desperate and crazy sometimes- I think constantly about leaving my husband and handing the baby over to him without looking back. Everday I worry about a miscarriage, or birth defects, or that I will be a bad mother like mine was- this is just honestly the most mental anguish I’ve faced and it’s for NO REASON! Everything in my life is perfect and exactly where I want it to be, but these hormones are keeping me in the depths of severe depression and cripling anxiety
It does help to hear from all you lovely ladies that this is normal for some of us and that it gets better. Thank God! In the meantime I will just continue to pray.
Hi Ladies! I just wanted to say reading all of your wonderful posts really helped me a lot. You all are so strong and brave!
So here I am on my first pregnancy, and I’m kind of nervous. I always thought that I would be really scared of the pain of delivery, but I’m actually really calm about it. I’m way more scared about going to the doctor and telling our parents.
My Husband and I just got married this March 2oth. This is an unplanned pregnancy, but not unwanted! Although we just got married we have been together for close to 5 years. I trust him, he is a sweet and giving man and I know he’ll be an awesome father. He’s so great with kids! I’ve always wanted to have children this is really a dream come true. I’m not that young. I’m 24 years old, but I know our parents are going to tell us that we are too young. We are so worried that we are going to loose their support. My Husband is worried that his parents are going to be furious. His mother may be just disappointed but his father is going to be mad. We don’t have much money we spent it on moving into our dream house last year. My Hubbie is a student in Nursing school and ideally we were going to have kids after he graduated.
I know that my mother is going to guilt trip me and tell me that I should have an abortion and I really don’t want to hear that so I’m scared to death to tell her. We haven’t told anybody yet. It will kill us if our parents disown us. Anyone have any good advise how to tell them?
I never knew how many things women go through during pregnancy, I thought morning sickness, Thats not that bad, I can get through that. So far I’ve been sick all day everyday since before I found out. I have been dizzy, crampy, more tired than I have ever been in my life, super hungry, not really grumpy but just a tad weepy. I can’t sleep at all. I wake up with heart burn, ringing in my ears and a pounding heart. Anyone else experiencing that? Anyways Before I write a novel… Take care. Chow Bellas
Well, I was due last Wednesday and I can say this has been the worst experience of my life. I am soo miserable and it hurts to just “be”. I can’t lay, sit, stand, walk, etc to alleviate the pain and pressure. I googled “pregnant and miserable” and here I am. I am hoping that maybe I can post on here and come back and re-post after my son arrives to give the next person some sort of inspiration, however it seems impossible that I’m going to be happy ever again. I do love my son, already, but it is so hard to not be a miserable person…it seems to own me at this time. I started swelling at about 18 weeks…gained about 45 pounds, the doctor says he’s happy with it considering the water retention that I am experiencing…(and please, don’t somebody tell me that this can be prevented–maybe it can and if there is a next time, I assure you and myself that it will be different from the beginning). My heart-burn is so bad that I have to sleep sitting up. My hands have been numb and I haven’t been able to breathe since about 8 weeks. I was in a wedding about two months ago and I haven’t looked at one picture and it was hard for me to be super happy for my friend getting married b/c I, at the last minute, had wondered what I was doing when I committed to be a brides maid at 32 weeks!
So, you get the point…I am miserable…and INSANELY depressed–have been at least slightly depressed about the whole time. I envy my husband–he seems to flow through life…to work every day and I’m here feeling pain every single minute! I finally couldn’t work anymore after Monday…my job requires a lot of physical movement and I just couldn’t do it.
All in all….here’s hoping for a brighter future!
I am 39, and 35 weeks pregnant. I have a dughter who is almost 18! I did not want any more children, but a higher power had other things in mind. I found out at about 3 months that my Bf was married w/two small kids! Liar and a cheat, fooled a lot of ppl for many years leading a dbl life…snake! Anyway, here we are many weeks later and I am miserable. Not only am I feeling fat and bloated, but I am doing this alone, which was the one thing I swore I would go through again. How do I manage to raise another child as well as the first has turned out? I am so scared, and I feel so alone and totally betrayed! and to top it all off the baby has a deformity, although it is fixable, it is still shocking just the same. I am a strong woman, I have been through many, many tough times. I am also blessed for I do know there is an end in sight, 5 weeks lleft of not sleeping, and Siatica pain, back pain, endless crying, and incredible fear. And my daughter, who thank God has been just the most excited young lady you could ever hope for, she is astounding. I am ready to not be pregnant any longer, am I ready to be a mother to another child? That is the one ? that is haunting me daily, can you love as much the second time? It seems so very hard to imagine that feeling for another child, but ppl tell me it just comes natural, but…what if, just what if that doesn’t happen to me? It is a long road ahead, I better gas up and get a good atlas!!
Hello…again. Yep…here I am pregnant and miserable…again. But this time I have real complaints! LOL
I am 36 weeks pregnant with my second. The first 10 weeks I had bad morning sickness to the point I could not eat anything. Then I hemorrhaged at 10 weeks and thought I was losing the pregnancy. After a couple of ultrasounds they found that I just had a low placenta that covered my cervix…but I was restricted in activities I could do, plus they put me on progesterone to stop the bleeding and to be sure I wouldn’t lose the baby. That made me even sicker where I spent most of the following weeks on the couch trying not to vomit…my poor son wanted to play with me so bad, but every time I sat up I was sick…
At 17 weeks I was able to stop the progesterone, but it still took a few weeks to be able to want to eat. The entire time up until then we were terrified the doctors were wrong and that we were going to lose our baby. Both of us were kinda detached for a long time “just in case” we lost the baby. Let me tell you, that is heart wrenching!
Then after our 22wk ultrasound we started to losen up, but I still had food aversions and had issues eating, but the Dr’s assured me all was fine as the baby was growing. But, I started having severe pains in my hips and back to the point I couldn’t walk. I still have that pain actually….
Then, after my 1hr glucose I had to have a 3 hr one…yep. Gestational Diabetes. Doesn’t sound too bad until you realize because of my food aversions and sickness I had been living off of things like crackers, ice cream, cereal and milk. No more for me! So that cut down on many things I could eat that would settle my stomach.
Now, I am just waiting for my csection date. Just a few more weeks. It will all be worth it in the end, I know…but I can’t help but feel sometimes that I wish it would be over sooner rather than later…at least I am at the last leg of the trip!
Sick, I am so sick. This website has made me feel better knowing that I am not the only one in the world suffering from this misery. I am 8 weeks along and the severe nausea started 3 weeks ago with the vomitting starting about a week and a half ago. I always knew pregnancy would be rough because I couldn’t tolerate birth control. I will never trust my husband again with “timing” things. Although I have always wanted children, this pregnancy was unplanned which is me being ridiculous because I am 25 and have been done with college and working in my career for a few years. I have an angel for a husband so I can’t complain. When we found out we were pregnant I felt like someone was making me divorce my husband and honing in on my territory because I don’t like to share him. Over the past few weeks I have come back to reality and I’m really really excited about the baby, except for the severe nausea/vomitting. I am already on IV therapy at home with not a whole lot of relief. I am 5′3″ and nearing 100 lbs (down about 9lbs from the start). I want a feeding tube so bad just so I could have some energy to bathe myself on a regular basis. I haven’t been to work for 2 weeks which because I can’t get out of bed. My husband brushes my hair, cooks my food and cleans our house. I have no idea how I am going to cope with this for another 7 months because I am mentally going crazy! They thought I had a blood clot today so I had to go to the hospital, I spent the rest of the day sleeping from my 60 minute outing. This will be the last pregnancy- my husband agrees we will be adopting the rest. I know there are a lot of people out there who would love to be in our miserable position, I have several friends and a sister who have severe difficulty getting pregnant, but I also think some of our bodies aren’t set out for pregnancy and maybe we should see it as God’s way of sparing us.
Hello Ladies
I thought i was going crazy. I am not alone.
This is my third pregnancy. The first was easy except for the labor part (he is now 15). Had him at 21 years old.
The second had to be delivered by c-section because of gestational diabetes. She is now 3 and I had her at age 34. I am now 27 weeks pregnant and miserable. Gestational diabetes is back , I’m on a diet and hungry all the time. I have to eat crap while the rest of the family eat dinner. I cant sleep, I cant walk because my hips hurt soooo bad, not to mention the heartburn and the fatigue. I dont even go out in the yard anymore because i’m not sure if I’ll make it back to the house. I just look out the window and watch my 3 year old ride her quad around the yard. I cry alot because I cant do anything anymore and I feel so useless. This baby will be delivered by c-section too. I cant wait to get back to being myself. I will have the doctor do a tubal ligation because I dont want anymore kids. My husband, mother and teen son help alot with the 3 year old. I dont know what I’d do without them. Thank God for all of them and our new baby too. I cant wait to see her.
Hey everyone, i was really sick with my baby the first 20 weeks. I couldnt keep any food down i would throw up everything!! My husband is in the Army so i was always alone and i live in GERMANY! right now im 29 weeks along and my daughther and me are getting along togther much better! We are both happy and healthy except for the 40 lbs ive gained! its CRAZY! but my docs didnt say anything
Ugh… My Google search… “9 months pregnant and miserable.” and that is the truth. I wake up everyday hoping that today will be the day… but I am feeling pretty sure I will be like this forever and so is my husband. Extreme morning sickness in the beginnning and just when that was getting better, I caught the flu and could not get rid of it. Extremely sick with the flu for 2 weeks but the virus held on well into my 7th month. I was taken out of work at 36 weeks and put on bedrest because they were afraid of preterm labor – as my first daughter was born at 36 weeks. I hate sitting around, especially with no friends or family in the area. I have read 4 books and sewed two quilts (one for my soon to be 3 year old daughter and the other for the one on the way). I had not a single stretch mark with the first… and I am now seeing a few and dreading that more are to come. I keep having awful dreams that the baby is going to be overdue, I will have to be induced and that ultimately I end up with a c-section beacuse the baby is too big. I have been having the most painful “braxton hicks” contractions and I am currently 4 cm dilated and 70% effaced – which is much further along than I was when I went in to labor the first time around. After my first pregnancy, I remember telling people that I actually missed being pregnant… Like many of the other posters, overall, I am thankful and wish most that my baby will be healthy. The guilt of feeling so miserable stays on my mind all day. I love children and I cannot wait for her to be here… but I really needed to vent!
Pregnancy absolutely hates me. I am prego with #3 and cannot do anything. My kids suffer, my house suffers, poor hubby, etc. I am miserable & some days (most) I wish I weren’t pregnant at all. I am extremely excited about the baby, but the road for me is so long. I haven’t showered in days either. I can’t sleep, can’t eat, feel worthless, and just want to cry. I just want it to be over.
Hello fellow preggos:). I am due tomorrow and I have never been so depressed in my entire life. Don’t get me wrong. My husband and I are thrilled to death about this pregnancy (our first) but come on!!!!! How long will this last??? Does it ever end??? I feel as though I have been pregnant forever. Everyday is harder then the last. I am naturally a very tiny person but big babies (10 pounds) run in the family. I am 40 weeks measuring at 44 fundal height. It is so hard to get around now I have basically become housebound. I do not even want to leave to buy cat food. I do not want to see anyone (husband excluded) or do anything. I am up every 30 min at night to waddle my huge self into the bathroom. My back is killing me as are my legs and every other part of my body. I do feel bad complaining because I have been so happy about this pregnancy up until these last few weeks. I love this little person who I do not even know but I would much rather hold him in my arms then in my massive belly!! I wish all of you healthy happy babies and that they all come sooner rather then later.
I just want to say thank you to everyone who took the time to share. I found this page by searching pregnancy miserable. I’m 36 weeks with my first and I’ve reached the point where I feel like it’s never going to end. I never knew so many parts of my body could hurt at the same time. I honestly sometimes can’t remember what life is like when you aren’t pregnant, lol.
I am very depressed, and was not ready for a second child, I have another child that is 6 yrs old. I actually had not planned for another one. I am completely withdrawn from everything, and have stopped taking care of myself. My husband is happy about it but I’m not, and I hate feeling like I’m sick all the time. I am 31, I thought my first child is going to school now, gives me some free time, maybe I can go ahead and do things for myself now. Not only that, but I had some serious problems with the father prior to becoming pregnant the second time around. I am not feeling the stability of a family and a husband, I’m just afraid I’m not going to be able to handle this, or the kids, I am so lost, I went to the doc and she prescribed zoloft so that the depression doesnt go into postpartum. I just dont feel mentally and financially prepared for another child, and a one bedroom housing situation is not helping. I already feel like a terrible person who shouldnt be a mother!
I am mother of five children, the oldest being twenty four, thought I was going through menopause and found out I was pregnant again, ten years after my last pregnancy. I am now fourty two, and they are right, it’s harder on you when you are older I think. I had high blood pressure but it has regulated well during this pregnancy. I am a diabetic and it’s been a battle to keep my sugar levels down and I am now thirty six weeks and two days and have had the nausea and vomiting off and on for months and to top it off I look as though I am having twins. I cant sleep at night, short of breath, hurts to turn over, cant get comfy at all and sometimes get muscle cramps in my sides when I try to get up. Cant stand on my feet for any length of time without feeling pressure in my lower abdomen and feeling like I may pass out. Very cranky and wanting so badly to trade places with my husband for one day but he’s afraid he’d go into labor in my stead if God granted us this, but personally, I think that would be awesome. This will be child number six and I know after it’s all said and done, even though we are all miserable, in the end, you just kind of forget all the pain and suffering and just love that new little face God’s blessed you with. Nice to read all of these comments, I know it’s helped me not feel so so alone. Just be glad when it’s over and I’m somewhat back to normal. God Bless Everyone of You.
Hi All,
When I first started reading all your comments, I felt better, then I started to read further and it made me wonder. How come no one tells us the truth about this before hand, then you dont have to feel like a monster when it happens to you. I hate being pregnant, from start to whenever this will be over. I ‘m bloaded, fat feel disgusting, cant stand people, Hate eating, cant sleep and peolle keep saying “show me the baby bump”. Its not a bump its a mountain and we cant we order children online like everything else!!!! I truly believe God wanted to punish women!
Thank you, I feel much better!!!!!!
Lin
Oh my goodness, thank you thank you thank you all for sharing your stories. Sick Mama-I totally agree with the not wanting to share your husband, I feel the same way about mine and I don’t want to tell anyone because I feel so selfish but I can’t help it! As for Lynn, you are obviously in a lot of pain but that is no reason to take it out on the rest of us who just need someone to understand what we’re going through because we are miserable. If TheG-Ma talked about her still birth AND losing her son and was still managed to be supportive of the rest of us.
I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant and I’ve already lost 9 lbs in the past 3 weeks because I’ve been so NAUSEOUS. My doctor put me on Zofran, which kinda-sorta helps the nausea and truly has stopped the vomiting, but I’m so constipated and have constant headaches because of the medicine, I can’t decide which is worse! It’s so hard to feel excited about this pregnancy because I am so SO tired and sick all the time. I have Thanksgiving at my house this week and I’m right in the middle of finals for my online classes as well! I’m 24 and have been married to THE most wonderful man on the planet for 2 years and though this pregnancy was a surprise, it wasn’t really unexpected as we were not trying to NOT get pregnant. I thought I couldn’t wait to be a Mom and now all I think about is how will I ever feel normal again and how am I ever going to able to take care of a baby?! My husband is a pastor and the people that know about the baby want us to make this big announcement, but the thought just petrifies me. I really don’t think, at this point, that I can handle 100 people hugging and jostling me, and wanting to know every detail…not until I feel better anyway! Here’s to hoping all of you feel better, happier, and have beautiful babies. God bless!
I am pregnant right now… in my 32nd week. I hate it. I will repeat it… I HATE IT. Lately, I have been tormented with HORRIBLE mood swings with a flip of a switch something just sets me off. I am exhausted, moody and fat. I hate it. I am thankful to have the ability to have children, but I am miserable! I hate this. I am not even looking forward to the horrible atrocious birth and ALL THE WORK that is going to follow, the isolation of having to stay at home with the baby, the exhaustion and emotional turmoil, nothing.. except…. to seeing that beautiful baby boy that will mirror the image of my husband and myself. Even then, that noble, wonderful idea will only take you so far… will it keep me up at night, will it keep me content, will it give me emotional stability to tolerate and love my 2-year old beautiful daughter that I already have? No. I feel so hopeless, so exhausted, so angry that my career means nothing when I spend my days cleaning, potty training my daughter and preparing dinner. Even though I am not really in a great place right now, it seems that this place is a safe place to say these things.. so thanks for letting me write.
Glad to know I am not the only one pregnant and miserable. This is my third pregnancy with ten weeks to go. I am taking care of two boys, 3 and 1! I am so sleep deprived and feel sick all the time. I hate my pregnancies so much my labors last only a short time. Those labor pains feel good! ha My last one was born in under three hours and he was well over 9 lbs. I know it will end but it is so hard right now! I enjoyed reading the thread very much.
I got pregnant at the age of 19 at, first I’m so worried that my parents will be so angry because i have to stop my work that is too far from where we are living and the worst is they don’t like the guy i ever love who is older than me… he is already 29 while I’m 19… but some are right age doesn’t matter as long as you love each other… that idea makes me stronger. because we can’t afford to leave alone we have to live in the house of my parents it’s really hard my mother always scolded me and also my sisters.. they were angry and i’m afraid that it will affect my baby especially that i have a an attitude that i easily cry or hurt even in small things… i’m really trying that it won’t affect me.. i always pray that god will made me stronger just for the sake of my condition.. the worst thing that happen to me is when i found out that my husband has another son it really depressed me sometimes i think i attempt suicide because i cant accept that he has another.. there was a time i attempt i feel something is like kicking my stomach i cried and i realize maybe my daughter want to live and see what the world is… after what happened i promised to my self that i wont let anyone affect me and have a great faith in god…
hello my name is leanne im 35 weeks pregnant with my second child and i feel as if im carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders! i hate being pregnant i had s.p.d and find it very very difficuit to pick up my 17month old son but then i have no choice because i dont want him to fall down the stairs! i feel rubbish all day everyday and cant wait for the day to be over! i find myself snapping at my son for no reason! hes just being a toddler! stresses me out when he wont do something simple like eat his lunch he will clamp his mouth shut so i cant give it to him! so i find myself holding his arms and trying to force it in his mouth, i dont know why i do it as it just stresses him out more and me as well i then shout at him, i try walking away but can feel my blood boiling at the sound of him crying, once i have calmed myself i feel so so guilty i start to cry uncontrolable (wats wrong with me) am i the only person in the world who feels like this?!?! i always give him a hug after and feel bad, i beat myself up about it! and think that he would be better without me!! please dont be shocked i DO NOT feel like this everyday! i dont know whether its pregnancy related? sometime i cant wait for mynsecond son to be born but then i’ll think will i be able to cope! im in need of a hug! and a box of tissues lol
This site has been so incredibly great to read and the timing is perfect! Thanks for sharing ladies!
I am 36 weeks pregnant, 2nd child, and my body has created the PPD anxiety in advance this time around! The heart racing, loss of breath, sick to stomach, etc. that could be anxiety or pregnancy has been a source of discomfort and is only getting worse! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! No anti-depressants here, not fair to the little one in my tummy! Why is comes and goes is unknown but we must face it and learn about it. Children are wonderful, but there is so much to worry about in the world and the more kids we have, the more people we have to worry about, thus increasing this anxiety. This is too bad, but I think I am done having kids after this one!
The key…to live laugh and love. This is truly the cure to all of this madness!
Hi there,
So i’m also pregnant & miserable… only 16 weeks gone. Been a moody cow since day 1, my bf takes it so personally when i give him the 180 degree headspin exorcist chat. He thinks this whole hormone/pregnancy is some made up excuse to verbally abuse him. I honestly don’t know if we’ll make it to the due date intact.
This isn’t my 1st pregnancy I have a little one at 5 and i can’t remember suffering (or making anyone else suffer) as much that time but maby it’s just rose tinted glasses. There is no doubt in my mind that I will love this baby to death and swear it was all worth it when it’s over…
But it’s still at least 5 months away! The physical & mental torment of that statement alone makes me want to cry. On a more serious note whenever i feel really low i always do an internet search to find stories like these. They always make me feel better which is why i’ve added mine. Good Luck to you all!!!
What a wonderful feeling to know that I’m not alone right now. I have had a near-perfect pregnancy right up until the very end. I’m due in 11 days and I am DONE. I am exhausted. The only time I can sleep is…well never. My ankles are non-existent and the only shoes I can fit on my feet are flip flops (I work in a very conservative HR Office). I got a fresh batch of hormones this morning and can not turn off the water works. It doesn’t help that two women I work with have mentioned that my face is “all fat & swollen” and that my waddling is getting worse. As if I don’t have a mirror and have somehow missed the memo that I’m 9 months pregnant.
I am absolutely thrilled to be having a baby. I love my daughter more than words can say and would be absolutely devastated if anything happened to her. I would really just love it if she would hurry up and get here! Thank you for posting…it has been very therapeutic to hear everyone else’s stories!
I am only 17 weeks pregnant. I hate every minute of it. the worst is I can control my nausea. I have been in and out of the emergency room. I never know how to deal with whats going on in my body. Its very uncomfortable to sleep I am so lonely being at home everyday. I dont know how to cheer myself up. I dont drive so I can t do anything and also I get exhausted so quickly. I am really miserable and this is my first pregancy. I am pregant with twins and I feel I just want this all to end. Please help me I a so miserable and all I do is cry all day. What can I do to enjoy this pregnancy how can I get myself to eat. I feel so alone. My husband is great when he comes home but there is so much he can do to make me feel better. Everything just sux rite now I wish I could have someone to chat to.
I am really glad to read some of the comments, I don’t feel so bad now. I had a miscarriage in january and I am now pregnant going on 7 weeks, this will be my first. I am miserable, I really want to get pass my first trimester because I am scared I may miscarry again but I am miserable. Sick all day, neusea, back pain, I really really hate it. I am at the point now where I am saying I will never do this again. I just needed to hear others felt the same. Anything to help me through this please…thanks
Hi, I found this site by searching ‘miserable pregnancy’ in hopes of finding others who understand the way I feel. I am only about 7 weeks pregnant and I have never been so miserable in my life. I suffer from depression and anxiety as well as bipolar disorder in the first place. I’m 27 years old, 5′4 and 100 lbs. I have a rapid heart rate and a hiatal hernia and GERD. My relationship with my boyfriend is not great, the night before I found out I was pregnant we got in a huge fight and I told him (and it was not the first time) that I didn’t want to be with him anymore. Now I am pregnant and I feel more physically and mentally exhausted and sick than anything I ever thought possible. I am nauseous 24/7, I feel exhausted, yet I’m too sick to sleep. I am having trouble going to the bathroom, I have constant heartburn, my anxiety level is through the roof. I can feel my heart racing and pounding in my chest which makes me even more anxious. I feel so depressed and scared about how I am going to deal with this for 8 more months. I took my blood pressure at the drug store the other day and it was high- really high. I’ve never had a problem with high blood pressure in my life and that scares me. I know this sounds horrible, but I’m so unsure about what I should do. I feel like such a weak person for even debating whether or not I should go through with this. I know it isn’t supposed to be easy, and I’m not the only person who feels sick and horrible but it is a constant feeling that I can never find relief from, and I am absolutely terrified of feeling like this for the next 8 months of my life. This obviously wasn’t planned. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have children. I think I am at the right age, I know I am a sweet and nurturing person and I’m sure I would be a good mother. However I am not sure that I am with the right person, and all I want to do is make the best decision possible because this is going to change my life completely. My boyfriend is immature, acts like such a jerk, has 3 DUI’s so he has no car or drivers license. he wants me to have this baby. I don’t know if I want to be tied to him for the rest of my life. I am so upset and confused. I know this happened because we were not careful enough. We thought we were but I guess pre-cum can really do the trick. I know abortion is a horrible thing and I feel so guilty for even considering it. Also I have already told several people. I don’t want others knowing I did something like that but at the same time I have to do what is right for me and say screw what they think. I just can’t imagine being this completely sick, miserable, depressed, exhausted, anxious, nauseous and bloated for so much time. Not to mention getting fat and having stretch marks and sagging breasts. Maybe it is selfish of me to feel this way. I can’t sleep at night because I am so torn on what to do. I know nobody has the answer for me but any advice would really be appreciated. Please be nice, I have enough turmoil going on inside right now and I really can’t take any more. Thanks.
I am having a hard time with my pregnancy. I am on my fourth pregnancy. I have no living children. I have miscarried the last three and usually get really sick with each pregnancy. I usually lose the babies in the beginning of the second trimester. I have always wanted kids, but my body treats the fetus like a parasite.
Currently, I have a PICC line in my left arm. I can’t hold down any water or food. I have lost 16 pounds so far, and I am 11 weeks into the pregnancy. I can’t even put ice cubes in my mouth without gettting sick. I am on many different medications, one of which is lovenox. I hate needles and have to inject my stomach everyday. I am having a very difficult time with this.
I have no family for support, and a small support system of friends. My ex got me pregnant on purpose, because he wanted us to be a family. When I told him that I didn’t want to be a family with him that is why I divorced him, he said he doesn’t want the baby. He is pushing for me to get an abortion. I don’t feel that is the right thing to do. I am going through with the pregnancy, but he doesn’t want to have anything to do with the pregnancy or baby. He just thought I would stay with him, if he got me pregnant. I am miserable and I don’t know what to do, or what to look forward too.
Hello Everybody,
It is 6am, i have been up since 3am, I am so bloated and in pain that I resorted to comiseration with others like me, I googled “pregnant and miserable” and ended up reading this blog.
I am 13 weeks pregnant, for the past two months I have been living on toasted white bread and fruit teas. I have lost 16lb so far and my doctor is threatening to hospitalize me, on top of that I got some really bad bronchitis which is further putting dampers on my appetite.
I have always been the optimistic, “I can deal with anything type”, when I found out I was pregnant I was excited to experience what all of these women around me have been talking about for the past couple of years. I started reading stacks of books on pregnancy. Well, none of those books seem to address the physical misery of the situation. Early on I had vertigo, than I stopped eating – really weird for an overweight foodie, I have had very unpleasant and constant problems with gas, heartburn, hip pain, sleeplessness, and burping that leads to vomiting mostly gas and stomach acid. On nights like tonight when the gas and heartburn wont let me sleep I am reevaluating my optimism. If I am only at 13 weeks and I am reaching my emotional threashold now, how will I survive the remainder of this experience without going insane, or driving my poor husband up a wall? On top of that, I need to immerse my self in the world of baby gear, which is very strange and overwhealming in it’s self, and than try to figure out what to do with the little cuteness when it comes, which brings me back to pregnancy books. I wish they were not so upbeat and full of obvious advice that is not very practical. Phrases like: “eat a well balanced diet” or ” you will not need many of the baby items, try to be minimal” are driving me crazy, what does that mean? Which baby items are considered minimal and which are considered non minimal? The books are silent on this, and what is a well balanced diet? Are white bread, tea and prenatal vitamins in that category, because nothing else stays in, or if it does it is accompanied by about 6 hours of intestinal pain and eventual vomiting. Why don’t they contain stories of misery like this awesome blog, so one does not feel so alone? I honestly do not know how to judge my situation, should I be alarmed, should I ignore all of the well meaning subtexts of fear and worry from the pregnancy books and my ob about the weight loss and just do what my body tells me? I find myself to be too much of a novice in the field of motherhood or reproduction to trust my instincts, but I feel that worry regardless where it comes from does not solve any problem it just depresses you, which on top of the weird mood swings can not be good.
I really appreciate all of the posts, it brings a bit of sanity to my sleep deprived mind, I know that the cuteness is very worth it in the end, I know that it does not last forever and I know that regardless of how my body reacts to being an incubator I will survive. The difference is that for a first time future mother like myself who has no way of judging the severity of her experience only the stories of others, good or bad can provide a sense of normalcy with whatever is happening.
Kay
This is my third pregnancy and these blogs are the closest thing to how I have felt through all of them. I hate everything about being pregnant…scratch that not everything. I love when you feel the baby kick for the first time, seeing my baby on the ultrasound screens, and the baby that comes home with me…but that’s it.
I could do without nausea, gas pains, headaches, stuffy nose, feeling fat in everything I wear…fighting with my husband and not knowing why I picked this one…the fight and my husband.
Please don’t tell him…but that poor man. Right now I feel sorry for him because I am only two months into this one. Seven more uncomfortable months of crying, complaining, bloating, cramps and of course blaming him. With my last pregnancy I honestly thought we’d be divorced before the baby got here…God knows I threatened to leave him too many times to count.
I am trying to be calmer this time, nicer, enjoy the glow people talk about (trying not to correct them and say it’s sweat). I guess it’s true…if pregnancy were fun we wouldn’t want the baby to leave, right? HA!!
I love my children and I was meant to be a mom…I just HATE being pregnant!!
I posted on this site back in April and i just got an e-mail alerting me to new comments which prompted me to give an update… i’m now due my baby in 11 days! It’s very endearing to read my past comment it feels like it was written by a different person, i’m sure many of you will re-read your comments and your complaints will actually make you smile : ) ! I’ve felt a lot better these past couple of months, i’m pretty exhausted but i’m also feeling a contented kind of calmness over my new little angel’s arrival. I think i’d actually be happy to go overdue which is something I would’ve sworn i’d never say back at the start. I just want to assure all of you miserable mummies to be that things will get better. God bless you all. x x .
Michele,
I’m in a similar situation. I’m 37 years old, my son is 17 and I’m pregnant by a married guy! I hate him! I’m so miserable. I cry almost everyday. Lucky that my mom is being so supportive and I can go over and vent out. I wish I could just run away, get far away from it all and start over.
Good luck to you
Wow – guess I’m not alone. I’m only about 15 weeks with my third child. This is what we wanted, my husband and I. We are syked about the baby. However, I hate pregnancy! I always have and always will. I do not understand the people who say they never felt better. I am not myself and I don’t like it. I feel like an alien has taken over my body. I really can’t believe I have to go through another 6 months of this, and then the aftermath of my body! There is no such thing as post-partum depression for me. I am so happy to not be pregnant – those hormonal imbalances can’t touch me. I’m just wondering what I can do to get through this. Yeah, yeah… I know it will end, but how do I stay sane through it? My mother loved pregnancy so she doesn’t understand. My mother-in-law lost one of hers to still-birth so I can’t talk to her. I’m working too much right now so my husband (God love him) can finish his degree and get a better job. I don’t get anything done at work though and am counting down the days of this pregnancy, more so I can stop working than have a baby too. Wow – thanks for posting. I needed a place to gripe and found it.
Wow. About 10 minutes ago I was bawling and typing “I hate being pregnant” into the google search engine. I have since stopped crying and even laughed a couple times at some of the posts. I hate that I hate being pregnant. I’m 21 weeks in with my first child, and while I am super excited to be a mommy, I can’t stand the process to get there. I love feeling the baby kick and picking out names and nursery items, but otherwise I’m over it. I love to take exercise classes but now I have to “take it easy.” (I also hate people telling me to “take it easy.”) I hate that I’m hungry every 20 minutes. (I had a large filling meal tonight and less than two hours later I felt like I hadn’t eaten in days.) I hate that I can’t carry heavy items. I hate when people comment on my “bump.” I hate when people touch the “bump.” (It’s still my stomach whether it be small or large). I hate that I’m moody and I hate that people are always giving me stupid, obvious advice. (“Well, you have to eat.” No s***!) And now this H1N1 scare is making me even more upset. I am constantly hearing that I should be careful and pregnant women are at higher risk. Ok thanks, now what? I’m glad that you all shared your stories. Thank you. And thank you for listening to me complain, I feel better
I was so happy to read your post on here about being pregnant and finding out you were pregnant the day you got your braces! I had a palate expander and braces put on two weeks before I found out I am pregnant, and I have been miserable. It’s been tough eating, and I am always starving. The expander is the worst part because it’s in the roof of my mouth in the way of everything… I’m only about ten weeks along… How did you survive, and how did your smile turn out? I have been wanting to hear from someone else who had orthodontia during this difficult time… I’d love to hear how you survived and which foods you were able to eat that comforted you…
With my first pregnancy I was not so bad. Sure I loathed getting fat and being sick my first trimester. But at least there was a sort of exciting feeling of having a baby, since I had no idea what I was looking forward to. The planning, the baby registry and all the attention. Of course it was all worth it at the end, having a beautiful daughter and getting through those 9 months. After having my daughter I got my body back by training for a triathlon and taking intense spinning classes 4 times a week. I loved that I was back to my old self and I was getting the hang of life again. Back in June we decided to have another baby and so I got pregnant right away. I am now 4 months pregnant. Here I am again, only this time I am COMPLETLEY MISERABLE. I am so bored with my life, I don’t go to the gym anymore because I am so tired by the end of the day, also I just feel like a fat A$$ anyways so why go show off my load at the gym when I can just hide here at home for the next 5 months. I am really jealous of my husband, because his life has not changed a bit. He still drinks and has a blast. I am a social drinker and I also enjoy wine a whole lot … That has also been taken away from me. So two HUGE THINGS that use to make me happy. Extreme exercise and wonderful wine are eliminated from my life… leaving me with a growing belly and fat thighs. I am also just terrified of having a newborn again and not sleeping, juggling my life with my toddler who I adore and wondering if I will ever get my life back again after this baby comes out. Afraid I will not have enough help and I will find myself crazy out of my mind. SO yes here you are a perfect example of how miserable someone can really be while they are pregnant. All I can think about is how I have 5 more months left and how in god’s name am I going to live like this through it!!!
Would like to see replys
I feel so much better knowing there are other people out there like me. I am having my third child and I feel like I am dying. So far this is the most demanding pregnancy. I am so tired and my back is killing me everyday. My husband is already tired of me and this is at 16 weeks. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. The only time I feel normal is when I lay down. I have no energy. Everytime my husband suggests I wash the dishes I think about hurting him. He is very business as usual but, I just cannot do anything but go to work and go to sleep. My kids are the best though. They try to cheer me up with kisses and “backrubs”. When I see the sweet little boys I have that is the only thing that keeps me going on the bad days.
Miserablypreg – I understand! I love to exercise and even though I still get myself there a couple times a week it’s just not the same. I can’t go all out like I did before and that’s difficult to handle. I also don’t have any other children yet and I worry about what life will be like when I have this one. People think I’m crazy, but working out is what I love to do. It’s not a chore for me – it keeps me sane! Lately I’ve been having an even harder time going b/c I’ve been so tired, plus I feel uncomfortable in my gym clothes! I know pregnant women aren’t “supposed” to worry about how big they are, but I feel so awkward!
I also love wine, too and it’s killing me not to have any! I smell my husband’s sometimes and that helps a little, lol.
We will make it through to the end! Good luck!
I am pretty early on now. Only 8 weeks in. Like some of the other moms, I have other children–4 incredible, capable, talented, good-looking kids who are phenomenal little people.
…And did I mention that they are incredible?
All the same–this kid here–the one inside,…sometimes I feel like telling him/her to “Kiss. My. A–.” This kid is giving me the worst kind of blues. I feel like asking my unborn child, “Are you sure that you’re gonna be worth all this trouble?” But that seems somehow “un-motherly”.
My husband/guardian angel has been busting his tail to try and do every little thing, (work full-time, cook, clean, watch over the kids, plus make his pregnant wife feel beautiful), while I lay in bed, miserable beyond belief, drooling and daydreaming about leaving my sickly human body behind and floating up to the Lord’s Kingdom.
If only the nausea would stop, if only the vomiting would end, then I feel like I could embrace the little brown alien growing inside of me. Meanwhile, I will try to keep my chin clean from vomit while I avoid looking into mirrors which only remind me of how snakish and unruly my dark locks have come to be.
Oh well. Raise your glasses of gingerale ladies. Here’s to doing the most incedible (and incredibly underappreciated) work of creation since the heavens were formed.
This simply HAS to be worth it.
PS. Much love to the friends and family who have kept me comforted and entertained on the phone and who have congratulated me so profusely. There hasn’t been any judgement about having “yet another” child, only congratulatory laughs of joy and sweet prayers. I really appreciate that.