Second Day of Christmas: Joseph and the Quiet Divorce

“This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.” Matthew 1:18-19

Just as much as he chose Mary to be Jesus’ mother, God chose Joseph to be his father. Scripture tells us that Mary’s conception was miraculous; Joseph was not the biological father. Mary could have raised her son alone, however difficult that was, but God chose two parents for Jesus, both mother and father.

I think God knew he would need the example of a father.

We do not know much about Joseph. Scripture says very little about him. What is it about this man that made God choose him to be Jesus’ daddy? We are offered two clues to his character: the swiftness with which he believes the angel who announces the miraculous news in a dream, but also that before the angel, when he first found out about the pregnancy and (naturally) believed Mary had been unfaithful to him, he wanted to divorce her quietly.

I don’t know about you, but this is startling to me. I have seen friends and family go through divorces and know only a few who choose not to rail against their ex-spouse when given the opportunity. I can imagine the pain and anger I would feel if it happened to me, and I suspect I would vent it to everyone I knew. Joseph believed he had been betrayed by the woman he was going to marry, and yet, in the midst of this hurt, he wanted to spare Mary humiliation. Even in the midst of the pain of seeming betrayal, he showed compassion and concern for the apparent betrayer. Without pretending or tolerating his own mistreatment, he was willing to treat her kindly.

This is the daddy who could raise a son that told the world to love their enemies and “turn the other cheek.” This is the daddy who could teach Jesus that God was a father.

There are still many, many children who need that kind of daddy, whether a natural father or a father figure standing in for the one who is absent. And there are still many of us who need this example of a man who loves past hurt, and accepts with faith the miraculous. We are given no story of Joseph’s struggle to believe; an angel appears to him in a dream, and he obeys the angel. May we believe like Joseph, but even more, may we love like Joseph, showing kindness in the worst of situations.

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And here is your egg nog for today. It’s not about Christmas, but it is about fathers.