Tomorrow is a big day: the ultrasound is in the morning, and, if the baby is cooperative, we will find out if it is a girl or a boy. If it is a boy (which I unreasonably expect), he will have his great-grandfather’s name. But if it is a girl, then I transform into Crazy Name Obsessed Pregnant Lady, a role I have played before.
I knew I wanted to name my first baby after my father, so JellyBean’s name was chosen long before she was born. Sweetpea, though in utero we referred to her as “Lily,” went unnamed until I held her in my arms. I had spent a truly unjustifiable amount of time computing the popularity of baby names, and weighing exactly how popular I wanted her name to be. Too unusual, and life gets a little more difficult for a little girl. Too common, and I would end up resenting all those other selfish mothers who dared to use MY name for their children.
Whenever our families asked what we would name Sweetpea, I would answer, “I’ll wait until I see what she looks like.” They did not like this answer, but there wasn’t much they could do about it. I knew I had to choose the name quickly after she was born, because if we called the family and told them a nameless baby was born, they would be very grumpy. So I brought my list of thirty possible girl names to the delivery room, and, as I held that tiny, sweet, blue-eyed girl with the dark, curly hair, I pronounced a few to test them out, and chose.
I noticed that the doctors and nurses found quiet things to do around the delivery room until I made my choice.
As I said, I expect this baby to be a boy, so there will be no agonizing choices to make, but it could be a girl, and then I have a new dilemma: I have never before gone through my obsessive naming exercises while writing a blog. How dreadfully tempting to discuss the options with all of you! But wouldn’t that make the anonymity I have given my other children pointless? I could hardly ask your opinion on names and then NOT tell you which name I chose.
So I have decided on a compromise with myself: I will ask your opinion on middle names. I know parents agonize over middle names sometimes too, but I’ve gradually realized how superfluous they are. Middle names are like a little secret between yourself and whomever you choose to share it with, like the color of your underpants, or which was your favorite Monkee (answer: Mickey). Middle names can be much weirder than first names, and I have much fewer rules for deciding which is the right one.
So here are the contestants for girl baby #3’s middle name, posted tonight because tomorrow the ultrasound may show that baby #3 is certainly a boy, and I will have nothing to dither about.
Aerin (after my favorite of Robin McKinley’s characters)
Anne (as in Shirley - big surprise)
Bennett
Catherine
Claire
Donne (after the poet, who has comforted and taught me on many occasions)
Elinor (after my favorite Jane Austen character)
Helene
Hunter
Irene
Ivy
Jane
Jean
Josephine (of course from Little Women - as if you needed to ask)
Lucille
Mae
Mage
Magdalena (because Mary Magdalene doesn’t get enough credit, or if she does, it’s the wrong kind)
Margaret
Marie
Ruth
Verity
Winifred
Wren
I think Donne is a really original name and your reason for it is a wonderful gift to new baby. Good luck tomorrow! I admit, though, I had a very good long laugh over your rational for Magdalena, which is lovely.
It’s hard to choose, but I like Aerin (the name of a daughter of my best friend) and Bennett. Although Elinor is beautiful. And Wren. See how helpful I am?
I like Jane or Ann. Strong, simple and traditional. We have an ancestor named Jane Church and I think that names just begs to be in a novel.
A good middle name is important because if she/he doesn’t like it, then they can go by the middle name.
All lovely…and when I saw “Elinor,” my heart skipped a beat (as did it when I saw “Winifred”). Like-minded, we are.
Hope your ultrasound goes beautifully - keep us posted!
ELINOR. Oh yes. You know my baby’s name, I believe? I’d really held out for Elinor as her full-and-proper name, but my husband was wrongly set against it. As nice a name as Anne is - and it’s lovely - it can sound sort of like the default middle name.
We go the opposite route, by the way - my kids have oddball first names and very, very normal middle names - that way, if they ever tire of being Stargirl-Mailbox, they can retire to the safety of Jane.
I like the name Jane, or Irene…
There are a lot of names on this list that I like including Aerin, Elinor, Wren, Bennett and Donne. That probably doesn’t help, does it?
That is a LONG list! I like Donne, especially if you have given your other girls the names of poets as middle names.
I love Aerin Donne as a first and second name. Aerin Donne. Nice!
Can’t wait to find out…
Well, I just got back from the doctor. Az the Smug is mildly triumphant because his opinion was confirmed. It is a girl. So I have months of name-dithering to look forward to.
The sonographer Terri would not make any absolute guarantees, but the doctor said Terri has a 14-yr record of perfect predictions, so I should count on it.
And Jennifer, if you think this list is long, you should have seen the list I brought in to Sweetpea’s birth. That had thirty possible first names. I have mentioned I’m crazy, right?
Okay, I just crossed a name off my list of FIRST names. I was going through it with JellyBean, and I got to the name Greta, which I have always liked. JellyBean can’t say her Rs, and pronounced it the same way she does “goette,” which is the local scrapple and her favorite breakfast food. I definitely cannot have a baby called “sausage” for the first year or two of life, so Greta is gone.
Told you. Crazy.
Dear Veronica,
Thrilled to hear everything is OK and that there’s a little girl in there!! I remember similar name-dithering here for all 4 of mine, but sadly never had the chance to consider any beautiful girls’ names! Donne is truly special - and I like it for exactly the same reasons as you.
Thank you for dropping by my blog today and your words of comfort and encouragement. It is good to have friends at a time like this…
Let us know how you get on wi the name choosing. What fun!
Best wishes
Congratulations on another girl! You do know what this means, though, right? You have to go for a fourth to complete the Little Women set.
My heart skipped a beat when I got to “Verity.” I love that name - and it’s definitely one I’d never dare use as a first name. “Jane” is lovely, too, but I think I prefer it as a first name.
You could do a first-name poll, and then just reveal the name in code. I was reading a blog the other day that did that: one of the boys’ names was “the orphan who wanted more gruel” which I thought was a wonderfully literate clue. Or you could do the poll and then hold out on us on your final choice - I won’t hold it against you.
It depends on what kind of privacy you want - do you want it to be impossible for a reader who knows you to prove that this is your blog? Or are you trying to evade potential Googlers? As long as no one will find my blog by googling my name or my children’s names, I feel like I’m upholding my responsibility to keep their identity anonymous, but I have no illusions about the fact that anyone who knows me and accidentally finds my blog would be able to put two and two together.
Congratulations on your third little girl! What fun that will be. Especially for Az the Lucky.
Oh, a girl! I love girls and I’m always happy to hear that someone’s having another one! I do hope that family and friends won’t wear you out with the whole “now you’ll have to try for a boy” nonsense, with choruses of “Az must be disappointed.”
Whether or not either of those assumptions is true, I hate that people presume to know what gender expectant parents would prefer - and that there’s a preference to begin with.
Oh. Right. Names. I like Ivy and Wren very much, because they represent nature. My older daughter is named Robin and I sometimes wish I had chosen a nature-type name for her younger sister (Julia).
Like you, I named both my daughters on their birth days - one before delivery, one after.
B&P, I am so glad someone else likes Verity. My family looks at me like I am insane when I mention it. The only place I have seen it used as a name is in an Agatha Christie novel, but I like the sound of it, and love a synonym for “truth.”
And Jennifer, Az is tickled pink (groan) to be having another girl. My father said today in his most pompous (and twinkling) voice, “Please tell Az that I ahve always thought it takes a Great Man to raise three daughters.” In case it’s not clear from that, I have two sisters.
How can I choose a middle name not knowing the first name? Names have to go together! Impossible.
But in general, I like Magdalena a lot, also Verity, Claire, Bennett, Ivy and Donne–especially as you actually know who he was, unlike, for example, the woman I met who told me proudly that her little Dylan Thomas was named after the great Irish poet. !!! oh yeah (But what about when little Donne is 13 and discovers certain of his poems? Ooh-la-la! Look out Mom!)
But I don’t think you’re crazy. None of our kids were named before they were born, although we were pretty sure we were going to name Elliot Elliot. Of course part of the reason for that is that, darn my traditionalism, I allowed the father to have some say in naming the child. Donn and I have diametrically opposed tastes in children’s names. I told him the only way I’d name my child Linus was if I died in childbirth, and since I didn’t, obviously God did not want a child named Linus on this earth!
I love the name Aerin too, for the same reason - that is such a beautiful book. I would have liked to give it to one of our daughters as a middle name but somehow it didn’t fit. Elinor is nice too.
I think Aerin, Donne and Wren are all lovely potential middle names.
I like Claire.
Would you believe my parents never gave me a middle name? So I guess I’m lucky they gave me a first name that, although uncommon, I like a lot.
I love so many of them for so many different reasons. And I completely understand having to take names into the delivery room and deciding after she is born. But 30? Whoa. I’d still be there trying to decide.
Congratulations on expecting a little girl. Maybe the amount of agony you experience while selecting a name will be counted as time-served when they hit adolescence.
Just came in here through another blog and from your wise men post….my heart skipped when I saw Wren on your list! I have 2 girls & 2 boys but one daughter’s middle name is Wren; a family name and I love it. But you have some really wonderful names on your list. Good luck with picking!